I recently took an informal poll (shout out, you know who you are!) to hear what tips for a budding marriage all those married, separated, or divorced out there had. While the population was diverse, there were clear themes of listening and communication, being best friends, having TONS of patience and something about not going to bed angry. The biggest discrepancy, however, was in managing finances- to have or not to have joint bank accounts, that is the question (in Shakespearean tone of voice). No wonder it ranks as one of the top topics for greatest fights within a relationship! Take a read for some of the advice given from dozens of people who have been married from weeks to decades!:
- Always talk about your day, offer to help , never forget to tell him/her how much (s)he makes you feel better and special.
- Never go to bed angry….and always remember to continue to date your spouse…
- Forgive quickly.
- It’s not always easy. Sometimes you have to CHOOSE to love. Marriage is a choice everyday to commit to that person. The minute you stop doing that you are headed for a rocky path.
- Hangout for hours- talk, listen to music and just be together.
- Dedicate yourself to being useful to the person you love.
- Not every fight needs to be resolved. If it’s something petty there’s no need to hash it out, just agree to disagree. Make out like teenagers regularly. Keeps you young. (Christina Gonzales Polanco, San Antonio, TX).
- Add humor to serious conversations when you’re at a crossroads
- 123. 1. Own up, apologize even if it was unintended 2. Validate each others feelings 3. Try to learn from mistakes and vow to try not to make the mistake again.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s all small stuff.
- Avoid being touchy or emotional.
- Respect and love each other as equals. You’re partners.
- Have a budget!
- Listen and communicate.
- Kiss hello and goodbye.
- Don’t lie.
- Pick your battles. It won’t always be “fair”, so agree to disagree and remain friends.
- God, love, respect, trust.
- Never deny making love unless both are not in agreement.
- There is a solution to every problem. Be committed to finding that solution together as ONE.
- Put God first above all else and he will bless your marriage!
- Practice tolerance every day.
- We can get caught up in kids, jobs, etc., but when all that goes away – you will only have one another.
- When the little things start getting on your nerves, remember it was those same little things that made you fall in love.
- Forgiveness is important, play, laugh be silly and always touch.
- Pray together.
- Never stop dating.
- God first, then spouse, then kids.
Anything else you might add? Comment below!
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