Apr 9, 2025
WRITTEN BY: SARAH RIVERA, LPC-S April is Alcohol Awareness Month. This is the perfect time to talk about something often overlooked —warning signs of a loved one’s drinking behavior. In this post, we’ll walk you through 5 warning signs of your loved one’s drinking behavior. We hope that by the end of this read, it will help you better understand when it’s time to be concerned.
Alcohol is often associated with fun, parties, and connection. Coming together with friends and family, especially in the context of celebrations and certain culture (like military families and Latino communities), alcohol is usually in the mix. However, alcohol intake and drinking can sometimes shift from casual to concerning without us realizing it. Whether it’s part of weekend gatherings or used as a way to unwind, alcohol can quickly become a harmful coping mechanism. In worse cases, it can negatively impact relationships, emotional health, and overall well-being.
Let’s talk about the difference between social drinking and something more serious—and what to do when that line starts to blur.
Understanding Alcohol Use vs. Abuse
Not all drinking is bad or harmful. But knowing the difference between alcohol use and alcohol abuse can help you recognize when it’s time to speak up.
- Moderate alcohol use is defined as up to 1 drink per day for women and 2 drinks per day for men, according to the CDC.
- Alcohol abuse begins when drinking becomes excessive, impacts daily functioning, or harms relationships.
- Binge drinking is 4 or more drinks in one sitting for women, or 5 or more for men.
If (you or) your loved one is consistently drinking beyond these limits, it may be time to consider the impact of their alcohol use.
5 Warning Signs of Your Loved One’s Drinking Behavior
1. Tolerance is Increasing
If it takes more alcohol for your loved one to feel the same effect. Specifically, they’re drinking more often than they used to. This could be a sign of dependence forming.
2. Alcohol Is Always on Their Mind
Spending a lot of time drinking, talking about drinking, or planning around when they can drink again is a red flag. When alcohol becomes a central part of their day or week, it’s no longer just a social habit—it’s a priority.
3. Risky or Dangerous Behavior
Alcohol impairs decision-making. If your loved one is drinking and driving, engaging in aggressive behavior, or making impulsive choices while intoxicated, their drinking is putting them—and others—at serious risk.
4. It’s Affecting Their Responsibilities
Has your loved one missed work, skipped family obligations, or shown up intoxicated to important events? Alcohol abuse often gets in the way of important things. It can cause problems personally, professionally, or with family life, making it hard to ignore.
5. Emotional or Mental Health Changes
Despite being viewed as a stress reliever, alcohol is a depressant. It can worsen anxiety, depression, sleep issues, and mood swings. If your loved one seems more emotionally unpredictable or withdrawn, alcohol might be part of the problem—not the solution.
What You Can Do
If these signs sound familiar, you don’t have to handle them alone. Here are a few first steps:
- Start the conversation. Approach your loved one gently and non-judgmentally. Share what you’ve noticed using “I” statements like, “I’ve been worried about how often you’ve been drinking lately.”
- Express care, not criticism. Avoid accusations. Focus on your concern for their well-being.
- Encourage professional help. A therapist or medical professional can help them explore their relationship with alcohol and take meaningful steps forward.
Support for You Matters Too
If your loved one isn’t ready to get help—or doesn’t think their drinking is a problem—that doesn’t mean you’re powerless. You deserve support and to have a good quality of life too. If your gut is telling you something isn’t right—trust it. These 5 warning signs of your loved one’s drinking behavior are meant to help you spot concerns early and take meaningful steps with compassion and clarity.
At La Luz Counseling, we work with individuals who are worried about a family member’s substance use and need a safe space to process, set boundaries, and explore next steps. You don’t have to wait for a crisis to care for your mental and emotional health. You’re not alone. We’re here to help.
Mar 31, 2025
WRITTEN BY: BRITNEY VINCENT, LPC Spring is a season of new starts—a time when nature wakes up, flowers bloom, and the world feels fresh again. But spring cleaning isn’t just for our homes; you can learn how to spring clean your life too.
Clearing out physical clutter creates space for peace in our homes. Letting go of emotional and mental clutter can also makes room for joy, clear thoughts, and purpose. This season is an invitation to reflect: What is adding value to my life? What is simply taking up space? What is holding me back from stepping fully into the person I am becoming? Spring reminds us that fresh starts are always possible. Just as nature awakens from winter, we, too, can step into new beginnings.
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. –Isaiah 43:19
Let’s look at what it means to “spring clean” your life and how how this fresh start can bring peace and joy.
What Does It Mean to “Spring Clean” Your Life?
Spring cleaning your life is about more than organizing a closet—it’s about choosing on purpose, what is serving you and what isn’t. It’s a chance to pause and ask yourself:
- What is draining my energy?
- What is bringing me joy?
- Where am I holding onto things, relationships, or things that no longer align with who I am?
Many times, we keep old habits, heavy ties, or bad thoughts just because they are familiar—without realizing how much they weigh us down. But just as trimming helps a tree grow stronger, letting go of what no longer serves us allows us to grow too.
Identify What Needs Spring Cleaning
A great way to start this process is by making a list. Take a look at things that give you energy, peace, and fulfillment. Then list things that leave you feeling tired, overwhelmed, or stuck.
As you think about this, consider these areas of your life:
- Relationships: Who encourages and lifts me up? Who drains my energy?
- Tasks: Which ones match your goals? Which ones feel like chores?
- Habits: What things help you grow? What keeps you stuck in stress or doubt?
Spring Clean: Let Go of The Clutter
Letting go is hard. Sometimes we hold onto things because they’re familiar. Or perhaps because we don’t want to disappoint others. Maybe we even we fear the unknown. But holding onto the wrong things keeps us from getting what is meant for us.
This spring, give yourself permission to let go of the clutter. Things like:
- Unhealthy relationships – If someone makes you feel unimportant, hurt, or anxious, it is okay to step back. Good ties should feel encouraging and positive, not draining.
- Overwhelming commitments – If your schedule is jam packed with “To-Do”s that leaves little room for joy. Think about where you can say no or set boundaries.
- Unhealthy habits – Whether it’s negative self-talk, putting things off, or always putting others before yourself, look at patterns that keep you stuck. Then take small steps towards change.
- Most importantly—release the guilt that comes with letting go. Just like clearing out clutter makes space for a more peaceful home, letting go of emotional and mental mess makes room for something better.
A Challenge for You
God invites us to step into His grace, letting go of the burdens that weigh us down, just like clearing out the clutter that no longer serves us. Renewal isn’t just about getting rid of what’s old—it’s about making room for the joy, peace, and purpose that God is leading us toward, much like spring cleaning makes space for fresh beginnings and new growth.
This spring, take time to reflect on what’s adding value to your life vs. what’s holding you back. Reflect on what adds value to your life and what holds you back. This spring, write down three things to release and three to embrace. Trust that letting go creates space for the joy, peace, and purpose God intends for you. Spring cleaning isn’t just for your home—it’s for your heart and spirit, too.
Mar 6, 2025
WRITTEN BY: SARAH RIVERA, LPC-S In times of busyness, it’s easy to forget the importance of sleep, but better sleep equals better mental health—it’s that simple. Whether it’s work, family obligations, or financial stress, we often prioritize everything else, leaving our basic needs, including sleep, at the bottom of the list. What’s surprising is how quickly this neglect can affect us—eating habits suffer, sleep patterns get disrupted, and even basic activities like physical movement and breathing can become harder to maintain. Crazy, right?
Why Better Sleep is Essential for Better Mental Health
It’s important to understand the essential role sleep plays in our mental well-being. Think of sleep as the time your body and mind use to recharge. It’s like plugging your devices into a charger—except, in this case, it’s your physical and emotional battery that needs recharging. For adults, men generally need seven or more hours, while women typically require eight or more hours per night. Without enough sleep, we can feel like we’re running on empty, stuck in the yellow zone.
Bad Sleep Equals Bad Mental Health
When we don’t get enough sleep, it can lead to a range of mental and emotional reactions. Sleep loss increases cortisol, the stress hormone, which can cause mood swings, memory problems, trouble focusing, irritability, and even feelings of hopelessness.
Bad sleep habits can worsen mental health symptoms. Poor sleep makes anxiety worse, increases stress, and raises mood swings. It affects thinking, making it harder to focus, remember, or think clearly. It also makes it harder to control emotions, causing irritability and outbursts. Over time, poor sleep makes it more difficult to handle stress and raises the risk of depression.
Simply put, better sleep, better mental health—when we focus on sleep, we improve our well-being, and everything else falls into place.
How to Make Your Sleep Better
If your mind feels foggy, focusing seems impossible, or you’re feeling disconnected from everything around you, it might be time to assess your sleep quality.
Start by tracking how many hours of sleep you’re getting each night. Keep a journal or diary to note when you go to bed and when you actually fall asleep—these two things are very different! Also, take note of how often you wake up during the night and whether your sleep is interrupted. This simple exercise will give you insight into your sleep habits and help identify areas for improvement.
Once you’ve identified patterns, you can begin improving your sleep routine. Here are a few tips to get started:
- Limit liquids before bed: Avoid drinking liquids a couple of hours before going to sleep to prevent waking up in the middle of the night.
- Optimize your sleep environment: Make sure the temperature in your room is comfortable. A cool, quiet space is ideal for sleep.
- Cut out screen time: Turn off all electronic devices at least one hour before bed. The blue light emitted by phones, tablets, and computers can trick your brain into thinking it’s daytime, making it harder to fall asleep. Even if you think using your phone helps you wind down, it’s likely making the problem worse.
- Be consistent: Establish a regular sleep schedule. Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day can help regulate your body’s internal clock.
Now, I know habits can be tough to break, but it’s important to start somewhere—why not today? Once you’ve made some changes to your routine, keep tracking your sleep. Pay attention to any shifts in your mood, energy, and ability to concentrate. You might be surprised by the improvements you notice.
Feb 27, 2025
WRITTEN BY: BRITNEY VINCENT, LPC- Sometimes, it’s hard to know your self-worth. Yes, everyone has unique strengths, experiences, and qualities that make them valuable. But why do we compare ourselves to others, doubt our abilities, or feel like we’re not good enough? Understanding your worth can help you feel more confident and create a life that reflects your true self. Here’s how you can start embracing your worth and understanding your own value.
Why Your Self-Worth Matters
To know your self-worth affects every part of your life—from relationships and life choices to self-esteem and personal growth. When you understand your value, you are more likely to:
- Set and maintain healthy boundaries.
- Go after opportunities that match your strengths.
- Feel confident in yourself and your abilities.
- Build stronger, healthier relationships.
When you recognize your worth, you’re able to recognize things that are important to you and start making choices that reflect those values.
How to Recognize Your Self-Worth
We all have different values and strengths—these unique traits shape who we are. Learning what yours are helps you create clear goals on how to reflect them in your daily life.
Here are a few key steps to help you start exploring your values:
1. Identify Your Strengths
Think about what you’re good at—whether it’s being a great listener, problem-solving, or being creative. Write down your strengths to remind yourself of the value you bring.
2. Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Your thoughts shape how you see yourself. If you catch yourself thinking, I’m not good enough or I don’t deserve this, push back. Replace those thoughts with, I have a lot to offer or This is important to me.
3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
In today’s world, it’s easy to compare ourselves to others, but your journey is unique to you. Focus on what is important to you and your own growth instead of measuring yourself against someone else.
4. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
The people around you influence how you feel about yourself. Stay close to those who encourage and uplift you. A strong support system can help you see the value you bring and remind you of your worth when you struggle to see it yourself.
Build Confidence in Your Self- Worth
Understanding your worth is the first step—believing in it takes confidence. Here’s how to build it:
- Celebrate your wins: Acknowledge and be proud of your achievements, big or small.
- Take care of yourself: Make time for things that support your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
- Set boundaries: Recognize areas of your life that aren’t supporting your value and set boundaries. Knowing when to say no or take a step back keeps you on track.
- Keep learning and growing: Growth is a lifelong journey. Working on yourself and seeing the progress you make helps reinforce your belief in your abilities.
Your value doesn’t depend on how much you have done or other people’s opinions. Your worth is yours to own—it’s not something you have to prove. By recognizing your strengths, challenging self-doubt, and surrounding yourself with a strong support system, you can strengthen your confidence and embrace your self-worth.
If you’re struggling to recognize and truly know your self-worth and value, counseling can help you explore your strengths and build confidence. At La Luz Counseling, we’re here to help you see and embrace your true value..
Psalm 139:14:
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Feb 4, 2025
WRITTEN BY: SARAH RIVERA, LPC-S Not all teenage relationships are filled with love and happiness, and uncommon red flags in teen relationships that parents shouldn’t ignore can sometimes be hidden beneath the surface. For many parents, watching their teenager engage in a relationship can be overwhelming. However, concern and worry can quickly arise when you notice subtle warning signs that suggest emotional or psychological harm.
While extreme warning signs like physical abuse or stalking are easier to recognize, some subtle but serious red flags can go unnoticed. This blog highlights uncommon teen relationship warning signs that parents should be aware of.
Extreme Mood Swings After Interactions with Their Partner
Teen moodiness is normal, but sudden, unexplained emotional shifts after talking to their partner may signal an issue. If your teen goes from extremely happy to sad, anxious, or withdrawn right after a call or text, it may indicate emotional manipulation or toxicity in the relationship.
Possessive Jealousy Disguised as “Caring”
Many teens mistake jealousy for love. If your teen’s partner is overly jealous—getting upset when they spend time with friends, demanding constant attention, or pressuring them to cut ties with others—it may be a sign of controlling behavior.
Social Media as a Source of Control
Unhealthy relationships often involve social media conflicts, such as:
- Demanding access to passwords or accounts
- Controlling who they can follow or friend
- Using fake accounts to monitor their partner’s online activity
- Blocking/unblocking as a form of punishment
If your teen’s relationship involves these behaviors, it could indicate a lack of trust and emotional manipulation.
Verbal Insults and Demeaning Comments
Another type of uncommon red flags in teen relationships is the use of negative and hurtful remarks. While outright name-calling is an obvious red flag, subtler verbal insults can be just as damaging. If your teen’s partner frequently makes sarcastic, belittling, or critical remarks that hurt their self-esteem, it could escalate into emotional abuse over time.
Isolation from Family and Friends
A controlling partner may pressure your teen to spend all their time together, discouraging them from seeing family or friends. Signs of unhealthy isolation include:
- Missing out on family events due to relationship pressure
- Being guilt-tripped into spending all their free time with their partner
- Their partner reacting angrily when they socialize with others
Rough Play That Crosses the Line
While playful teasing is normal, roughhousing that leads to bruises or injuries is not. If your teen’s partner consistently uses physical force in a joking way, it could be an early sign of physical boundary violations that may escalate.
Invasion of Privacy and Constant Surveillance
A relationship should have healthy boundaries, but demanding 24/7 access to your teen’s location, phone, or messages is a red flag. Signs of invasive behavior include:
- Expecting constant text replies or FaceTime check-ins
- Getting angry if they don’t respond immediately
- Pressuring them to share passwords or prove their whereabouts
What Parents Can Do
If you notice any of these uncommon red flags in your teens relationship, start a conversation with your teen. Ask open-ended questions and express your concerns without judgment. If needed, seek guidance from a counselor or professional.
By staying alert to unhealthy relationship patterns, you can help your teen recognize the difference between love and control—and guide them toward healthy, respectful connections.
For more resources on recognizing and addressing unhealthy teen relationships, visit Love Is Respect, a national resource dedicated to teen dating violence awareness and prevention.
Jan 29, 2025
WRITTEN BY: JENNIFER PATRICK, LMSW – When you’ve been through tough significant life events, setting mental health goals you can stick to can feel overwhelming. But goals can also be a powerful way to take back control of your life, one step at a time.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
This reminder of God’s care can offer hope as you set goals for healing and emotional well-being.
Why Setting Mental Health Goals Matter
If you’ve experienced mental health challenges, it’s easy to feel stuck or unsure of where to start. Mental health goals give you structure and hope, breaking overwhelming challenges into small, manageable steps.
Instead of vague goals like “I want to feel better”, focus on specific, actionable steps—like journaling for 10 minutes a day or attending a weekly therapy session. These small, meaningful changes add up over time.
How to Set Mental Health Goals That Work
Healing isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey, but using the SMART method can help you set goals that are both achievable and sustainable:
✅ Specific: Define your goal clearly. Instead of “I want to feel less anxious,” say “I will practice deep breathing for five minutes each morning.”
✅ Measurable: Track your progress with a journal, checklist, or app to stay motivated.
✅ Achievable: Keep it realistic. If you’re struggling, start small—even one minute of mindfulness is progress.
✅ Relevant: Choose goals that align with your healing journey. If you’re working on self-esteem, try writing one positive affirmation daily.
✅ Time-bound: Set a deadline. Instead of “I’ll start meditating,” say “I’ll do a five-minute meditation three times this week.”
What to Do When It Feels Hard
Sticking to mental health goals isn’t always easy, and that’s okay. If you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or discouraged, keep in mind:
- Adjusting your goals—scale them down if needed. Healing is about progress, not perfection
- Practicing self-compassion—be kind to yourself, especially on tough days.
- Seeking support—a therapist can help you set realistic goals and provide encouragement when you need it.
You’re Not Alone
Healing takes time, but every small step counts. Whether you’re seeking therapy, prioritizing self-care, or simply learning to be kind to yourself, you are making progress. Setting mental health goals you can stick to is something you can begin to do today.
If you’re ready to take the next step in your healing journey, La Luz Counseling is here to help. Contact us today to start setting goals that support your mental health and well-being.
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