Sep 19, 2022
Ever wondered if you’re an anxious person? Have you questioned, does my anxiety feel like everyone else’s? Why does it seem like my anxiety is higher than most? Perhaps your loved ones around you have pointed it out. They’ve mentioned you seem uptight and have a hard time calming down. Maybe you seem lost in space almost like you’re zoned out. If this sounds like you, here are some ways to know if you are struggling with anxiety.
Anxiety versus Feeling Anxious
As a reminder, everyone feels anxiety to some extent or another. There’s a difference between feeling anxious and having anxiety. Someone who feels anxious, has a moment of anxiety that comes and goes like any other feeling. When someone has clinical anxiety, the feeling of anxiety is overwhelming, exhausting, and sometimes debilitating.
Duration, Intensity, Frequency
Clinical anxiety is something that gets in the way of every day life. For an anxious person we look at 3 things: frequency, intensity and duration. When a person is frequently anxious, anxious thoughts usually take up the majority of the day and happens every day. Intensity looks at how severe the thoughts are: are the thoughts realistically worried (ie: I’m worried my daughter will get on the wrong bus since it’s her first week of school) or irrationally anxious (ie: My husband and I should book two sepearate flights so if one of us dies in a plane crash our kids will still have one parent)? And lastly is duration: how long do anxious spells last? Hours? Minutes? Days?
For an anxious individual, the thoughts can be so overwhelming that it’s hard to focus on anything else but the anxious thoughts. Those around you may notice it’s hard for you to calm down or unwind. It makes it difficult to stay focused, organize, and on task with things you have to. For many, anxiety keeps you up at night. You have overwhelming thoughts of all the things that could go wrong tomorrow and highlights the things you feel out of control about.
Physical Symptoms of Anxiety
For many, anxiety can lead to physical symptoms like an upset, stomach, headache, and muscle tension. Many often experience, heart palpitation, earning creased heart rate, which feels a whole lot like a physical condition. Read more about that here.
Write Down Your Anxious Symptoms
One way to determine if you’re an anxious individual is to pay attention to the thoughts you are thinking. Take inventory of how often you experience these thoughts, how intense they are and how long the last. I know, this sounds like a counselor thing to say, and it is. Listen to your thoughts. Are they fear-based? Irrational? Overwhelming? Only you can tell. You are the only one who can hear the thoughts. Pay attention to the thoughts you think. Write them down and go from there. Email us if it’s seems too much to tackle alone.
Sep 6, 2022
- WRITTEN BY: MARQUIA CALDWELL, LPC
- “Trauma is much more than a story about the past…trauma is re-experienced in the present, not as a story, but as profoundly disturbing physical sensations and emotions that may be associated with memories of past trauma”
-Bessel van der Kolk, a trauma expert
When mental health professionals talk about trauma and mental health, we are talking about an emotional or psychological injury. Trauma is a response to an experience that overwhelms an individual’s capacity to cope, often as a result of dangerous situations or life threatening events. This can be a single event or multiple events. These experiences cause a negative impact on the mind and heart. There are various forms of trauma such as, but can include the following:
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- Abuse (sexual, physical, and emotional),
- Life-threatening accidents or illnesses,
- Violence in school or the community,
- Domestic violence (witnessing or experiencing),
- National disasters,
- Acts of terror,
- Public health crises such as COVID-19,
- Loss of a loved one, especially when sudden or violent in nature,
- Refugee or war experiences,
- and Neglect.
Noticeable signs when struggling with trauma can include:
- Insomnia,
- Poor concentration,
- Intrusive memories and thoughts,
- Isolation,
- Self-doubt,
- Mood changes,
- Detachment from reality,
- Nightmares and/or flashbacks,
- Panic attacks,
- Loss of hope,
- Lack of vision for future,
- Inability to regulate emotions or lack of emotional response,
- Paranoia,
- Hypervigilance, and more.
Trauma writes itself on the mind and body of survivors. This means our actions, reactions, and behaviors are a result of our painful experiences. Each traumatic experience is unique and can manifest in lots ways such as PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, Substance Abuse, Eating Disorders, Chronic Pain, Increased chances of experiencing life-threatening conditions, Relationship and Social Issues.
“Our traumas do NOT define us; they are just a PART of who we are.”
Recovery and Support
Recovery with trauma is a journey. Think of having a deep cut on your arm. There are options presented to us to heal this cut. You can leave it alone and let it heal on its own, clean it and cover it, or go to a professional to close it up. When it comes to emotional wounds, most cover it up and hope for the best. However, sometimes when we think things are healed, we realize it didn’t quite heal right.
- Re-opening wounds can be part of the process of healing, and with counseling, this is oftentimes the case. There are various forms of counseling and psychotherapy to help survivors cope with their traumatic experiences. Along with therapy, doing enjoyable activities/ hobbies and surrounding oneself with a positive support system is incredibly helpful in coping with trauma as well.
- If you’re not sure where to start, but know you have experienced trauma, don’t wait for things to get harder or worse. Remember, getting help for trauma doesn’t have an expiration date. Even if traumatic things happened “a long time ago,” your heart can still find healing today.
Aug 11, 2022
WRITTEN BY: KIMBERLY ALANIZ, LCSW-S
Nearly every individual will experience symptoms of anxiety in their lifetime. In fact, small amounts of anxiety aren’t necessarily a bad thing. So, can anxiety be good? Or even helpful? The answer is, yes! Like other emotions, anxiety serves an important biological purpose; protection.
The Evolution of Anxiety
Evolutionarily (think back to cave man days) it protected cavemen from walking through tall grass with the potential of being attacked by an animal hiding feet away. In today’s modern world, anxiety can push you to study for a big algebra test, encourage you to apply for your dream job or discourage you from walking down a dark, empty alley alone.
Biologically, anxiety prepares and helps the body to fight, freeze or flee a stressful situation in an attempt to protect. You may experience this as a rapid heart rate and breathing, which purpose is to send oxygenated blood to muscles you need in the process (i.e., your legs). You may even experience this as racing thoughts, which mentally prepares you for every possible scenario. Although the experience itself may feel negative, healthy amounts of anxiety are normal.
So, when can anxiety be bad or unhelpful? When the feelings of anxiety become excessive dread or fear that interrupts everyday life even when there is no evidence of a real threat. These symptoms could suggest a clinical anxiety disorder.
Common Anxiety Disorders:
· Generalized anxiety disorder– excessive, unrealistic worry about everyday life situations with no obvious reason.
· Social anxiety disorder- excessive fear and irrational thoughts about social situations to include worries about feeling judged, embarrassed or humiliated.
· Panic disorder- excessive fear and worries about losing control or disaster accompanied by sudden or frequent attacks of fear that last a few minutes to longer (also called panic attacks).
Common Symptoms of Anxiety Disorders
· Feelings of panic, dread and doom,
· Difficulties falling and staying asleep,
· Shortness of breath or rapid shallow breathing,
· Rapid heart beat,
· Tense muscles,
· Stomach issues not explained by another medical condition,
· Over thinking,
· Inability to concentrate.
Sound familiar? If you or someone you love is struggling contact a mental health professional who can help you understand anxiety and help find ways to manage symptoms. Contact us today!
Jul 18, 2022
Thinking of your first session with your counselor can be scary. But rest assured, it’s not as scary as you think. This blog below will go over some expectations you can have for your first meeting with your new counselor.
How a Counselor is Different than a Doctor
To begin, a counseling appointment is very different than meeting with a doctor. A counseling session is a talk therapy session. You and your counselor will be conversating with the intent to go over as much information about you as possible. You will talk about what brings you to counseling and what you hope to get from it. Counselors do not prescribe medication, nor are we able to, so don’t count on us for that. We can, however, diagnose you with a mental health condition like generalized anxiety or post traumatic stress disorder. *If you are looking for medication for psyhological issues, you need a psychiatric appointment.
Counseling Paperwork
The first counseling appointment is about an hour or a little more. You will also have to complete loads of documents and forms (insurance info, informed consent, credit card authorization form, etc). Any good counselor will REQUIRE you to complete these before your session.
Your counselor will spend some time reviewing the informed consent with you. This form goes through fees, what to expect from counseling, how to get a hold of your counselor, your rights, and limits to confidentiality. One of the most important things is that you know all of what you share in counseling is private and confidential—with the exception of a few things, mainly related to safety of yourself and others.
The Beginning of the Counseling Session
Your counselor will ask you questions about things sticking out from your intake. Your counselor will get more information about how you grew up, your family and who is part of your family now. We want to know things that give you joy and things that really bother you. Most important, we want to know what brings you into counseling to begin with. Your counselor will talk with you and process different things to get a better understanding of your situation.
The End of the Counseling Session
By the end of session, you and your counselor will be working to identify goals based on the reason you’re getting counseling. For example, the reason you are seeking counseling might be because of marriage problems and stress. The goal is geared towards what you hope to gain from your experience in counseling. An example of a goal for marriage problems might be to better control your emotions and temper with your spouse and work on stress relieving skills.
Counseling is Your Choice
Going to counseling is a voluntary decision meaning no one can force you to come. Your counselor will make recommendations about how often you should be seen or when to come back. But ultimately it is your choice to continue counseling or not. While others around may want you to come to counseling, it is your decision. If you’re under the age of 18, you and your guardian are in control of this choice.
Remember your counselor is a person, just like you. Your counselor does not have all of the answers, a magic wand, or a special pill to make all your problems go away. The goal is to change you: how you think, how you act, and how take control of your emotions. The focus will not be on changing your situation as much as it will be on changing you.
Jun 18, 2022
Coping with anxiety is difficult for the person going through it. Also true for the people around them. Family members and close friends impacted by having a loved one struggle with anxiety is difficult too. This blog focuses 3 easy ways a loved one can support their family member without enabling.
Listen To Your Loved One.
No matter how many times you’ve heard it, no matter how often this has happened, listen. The person struggling with anxiety does not want to have this condition. They do not wake this morning wanting to feel anxiety. Listen with your ears, but really listen with your heart. Offer non-verbal encouragement, nod your head, look at them, and sit with them on their level.
Limit the Anxious Talk.
Being supportive of your loved one struggling with anxiety doesn’t mean that you are constantly available. While it is important to show consistent support by being physically and emotionally present, you don’t have to stop your own life. Give yourself a magic number. Think of a certain amount of time you are willing [and able] to give to listen and be with your loved one. This number can vary from day to day. For example, this morning you may have 15 minutes, but tomorrow you may have 30 minutes. Let your loved one know you want to be there for them but set boundaries so you don’t make yourself available 24/7.
Ask How You Can Help.
When your loved one is calm, ask what you can do to help the next time they feel anxious. Ask what they need during these times. Ask questions to better understand how anxiety impacts them personally. If your loved one does not know the answer to these questions or are providing answers that seem codependent (ie:”as long as you never leave my side, I’m ok”), that’s a clear indicator they could benefit from getting some extra help.
Having a loved one with anxiety is not easy. It may seem that despite your best attempts, the anxiety does not seem to ease back. But remember, your loved one is different than the anxiety. When you feel angry or frustrated, just remember to target this towards the anxiety not your loved one. The two of you together can fight towards the same cause: managing the anxiety.
Aug 27, 2021
WRITTEN BY: KIMBERLY ALANIZ, LCSW-S
Do you feel like getting your anxiety under control seems too hard? Below are 5 easy things you can do today to get you anxiety under control– and each just take few minutes.
1.Step away from the caffeine
Although coffee affects each person differently, it may not be the best choice if you struggle with anxiety. Coffee is a powerful stimulant that mimics natural functions in you body that happen when we are anxious and your body /mind may not be able to tell the difference. You may feel your heart rate increase, take shorter breaths or even a rise in temperature. Mentally, you may even feel restless, stressed or nervous. Swapping your morning coffee for warm tea or hot cocoa may help reduce anxiety without abandoning the warm, calming routine.
2. Spend some time in nature
Evaluate what your average day looks like. Where and how do you normally spend your time? If the answer is indoors and in front of a screen it may be time to get outside. Spending time in nature could improve both your physical and emotional healthy. Physically, time outdoors lowers blood pressure, releases muscle tension and decreases the creation of stress hormones. Activities like enjoying the evening on your front porch or hiking a trail could help calm the body and mind. In fact, research shows even viewing scenic images of nature can have similar effects.
3. Focus on your breathing
Deep breathing exercises can help create links between both sympathetic (kick starts fight or flight) and parasympathetic (influences relaxation) nervous systems. When you take a long, deep breath in, your sympathetic nervous system increases things like your heart rate and blood pressure. As you elongate the exhale, your body begins slow the heart and loosen tense muscles.
Try this breathing exercise and enjoy the benefits!
*Box breathing- Sit in a comfortable, quite spot with your feet firmly planted on the ground. Draw your attention to your breath. Drag the tip of your finger along your leg to “draw” each side of a box using the following breaths as a guide. Exhale, inhale (count to 4 in your mind), hold your breath for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts. Repeat at least 4 times.
4.Grounding
Grounding is a practice that allows a person to refocus and redirect nervous thoughts, flashbacks or uncomfortable emotions to the present time and behaviors. Here are two grounding activities to try.
*Place your hand underneath a running tap of warm water. Focus on the temperature and pressure of the water as it hits parts of your hand. Listen closely to the sounds of the running water. How do the sensations differ from your fingertips, palm and the back of your hand? Now try this with cold water and then alternate between the two.
*5-4-3-2-1
Counting backwards from five, focusing on your five senses, interact physically or list things around you.
5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
5. Exercise
Even though we may not always enjoy exercise, we almost never regret how we feel after. This is more than likely because of the endorphins released in our body after activity. No need to run to the gym. Things like a brisk walk with your pet, dancing in your kitchen as you cook dinner or riding your bike are all great alternatives to a gym membership.
If you begin to feel discouraged because it seems like everything you try doesn’t work, you’re not alone. Don’t feel as though you have to work through this silently. We are here to help you get your anxiety under control- reach out to us to schedule an appointment within a week.
Jul 2, 2020
So you’ve decided it’s time to get counseling, but you’re not sure where to start?
Here are the 4 questions you must answer before choosing a counselor:
- Will I use my insurance or go the private pay route?
- What is the problem I’m facing?
- What are their office hours?
- How quickly do I want to start?
INSURANCE OR PRIVATE PAY?
If you want to use your insurance, call the member services line on the back of your insurance card and ask them to send you a list of “MENTAL HEALTH/BEHAVIORAL HEALTH providers” in your network. From this list, do your research online and see if you can find a good match.
Contrary to what some may think, not every counselor takes your insurance.
Be sure to call your insurance to see if they will cover counseling sessions [like phone or virtual counseling, couples counseling or group counseling].
If you are using the private pay, take a look at your finances. Many private pay counseling sessions can run you anywhere between $90-$160 per one-hour session. There are, however, other options such as sliding scale fees, hardship options, or lowered rates with clinicians.
PRESENTING PROBLEM
If you had to sum up the problem you’re facing in 1 to 3 words, what would it be? Anxiety? Family problems? Marital issues? Child’s behavior? Whatever it is, try to narrow it down. Don’t diagnose yourself, but gain an idea so you can explain it to the person on the other end of the line. It’s important your counselor has experience with your issue. Counselors have specialties or niches; so again, contrary to what you may think, not every counselor has experience or works with your presenting problem.
Also VERY important, if the person needing counseling is a child (under 18), specifically ask if the counselor has experience working with their age group (preschoolers/elementary aged/tweens/teens).
OFFICE HOURS
Counseling can be hard enough, don’t make things more complicated by having someone whose office location or hours are inconvenient for your life situation. If you live in a large city, there are actually more counselors than you may think. Check into different office locations, hours and days open during the week and make sure it compliments your life schedule. If needed, ask about virtual counseling as this could also help take the hassle out of a weekly drive to an appointment.
WAIT TIME?
Lastly, and perhaps most important, how quick is their turnaround time? How long will it take to set up an initial appointment? Some counselors have availability to see a new client asap, others have a wait list and some aren’t taking new clients at all. This is a tough trade off because some counselors are worth the wait. However, if you’re issue is urgent and pressing, the sooner the better.
We hope this list helps! Honestly, finding a counselor who matches with you might take some time. It is often one of the reasons most choose NOT to begin counseling because the process can be tough to start. Don’t lost heart. Now is the time to get help. Don’t interpret any potential obstacles in getting a counselor as some type of sign from the cosmos because it’s not!! Get help now.
Happy hunting!
May 5, 2020
SlotogateDoes staying at home make you feel like your mind is going a little crazy? Have you noticed how many people seem to be adjusting, baking, crafting, completed DIY projects and being stellar home school teachers? Do you feel the exact opposite?
You’re not alone. Over the course of this pandemic, people and communities nationwide have felt the implications of “adjusting” at home. I have heard story after story of their so-called adjustment, or lack thereof. While some are sharing how their increased time at home has been a “blessing to spend more time with family” others have secretly cried and wondered if something must be “wrong” if all they wish for is to “escape” their family for only 20 minutes.
Don’t be alarmed. Many are wondering when the whole “adjusting” will kick in instead of barely making it through each day. The reality is we don’t know the answer to that. What we do know, is adjustment takes time, consistency and applying some source of routine for emotions and thoughts to begin to chill out.
Think about an elementary aged kiddo who goes to school. There is a start and end time to school, he/she hypothetically has the same teacher, is in the same class, with the same general schedule, with the same kids, and eating lunch at the same time. Why? Because people, not just children, do well with routine, structure and predictability.
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So let’s think about that, why have the effects of COVID 19 been so hard to adjust to? No predictability, not enough time since initial impact, and lack of structure or routine.
How to begin adjusting:
- Create structure as best you can. Wake up at the same time each day, eat meals around the same time, brush your teeth, change your clothes, and develop a bedtime routine for all in the family.
- Give it time. Yes, time. Natural adjustments take months, and contrary to popular belief, you aren’t creating a habit at 28 days or even 40.
- Focus only on things you can control. There are three things and three things only you have ANY control over – your thoughts, your feelings and your actions.
- Social connection– find others you can facetime with, look into support groups to join virtually, call people you haven’t in awhile, wave to your neighbors.
- Go outside. Change your scenery and get back in touch with nature. Stretch your legs and go for a walk, drink your coffee on your balcony. Even a few minutes goes a long way.
- Social media detox. Look at the total amount of time spent on social media per week. Imagine that amount of hours invested into something else… (mind blowing)
- Silence your mind. Don’t fill your mind with too many thoughts at one time. Try and focus only on the things that are unfolding to you in this moment. Engage all of your senses and demand of your mind to stay here. No thinking of the past or future, just the now.
Whether you’re rocking a sparkling clean home, a pinterest-looking office and thinking about a future as a school teacher, or wearing yoga pants, sneaking out during the day to “water the grass” to have a moment of silence, or counting down the moments until things go back to “normal”- you’re not the only one. This goes out to the well-adjusted and barely adjusting, you’re not alone. Hang in there champ.
Apr 5, 2020
What is Telehealth Counseling?
Telehealth has been called “distance counseling,” “telecounseling,” “virtual counseling,” “online therapy” and the like. We’re all talking about the same thing- counseling that happens virtually through a tech device. The American Counseling Association defines it as the following:
“Telebehavioral health, or distance counseling, is the use of a digital platform that provides secure, encrypted, audio-video conferencing to communicate with a client in real time.”
Since the arrival of the global pandemic we call COVID-19, you have probably seen more and more people transfer services to digital or virtual mediums. Counseling is no different. But lucky for us, telehealth counseling services have been around for decades (check out more about that on the International Conference on Computer Communications).
The Benefits of Telehealth Counseling
- Convenience– You can have counseling from your house, office or even car (not moving of course!)- all in the comfort of gym shorts.
- Saving time– You don’t have to drive to your counselor’s office, get stuck in traffic, or have to wait three lights to get through that busy intersection. Some even have their session during their lunch hour… not that I recommend that.
- You’ve already got what you need– No need to purchase any new or fancy equipment. Chances are you already have a cellphone, computer or ipad- any of these will do.
- Validity– Telehealth counseling with a professional is legit. Not only has it been around awhile but there are ethics and rights that protect you. Only secure platforms are used and privacy is still a priority.
- Continuity of care– There is less chance of breaking the momentum of counseling. Car problems? Sick kiddo at home? Out of town conference? Counseling can still take place.
The Disadvantages of Telehealth Counseling
- Bad connection– Although you’re connected virtually, you’re obviously disconnected physically. It can be hard to read nonverbal communication and sometimes slow internet speed can make things choppy. Boo.
- Too “new school”– Technology can bring people together to communicate. While it has its perks, some feel it “gets in the way” of human connection. We get it- it can be kinda weird staring at a computer screen.
- Issues with technology– “Can you hear me now?” “Can you see me?” “Can you repeat that?” “Your face is frozen.” “Let’s hang up and try again.” Potential phrases you or your counselor could say.
La Luz’s Stance on Telehealth
Telehealth isn’t our first option, but we’re glad it’s an option at all. Through the use of technology, we remained connected with clients despite global pandemics, unexpected family situations, and times kids throw up in the car on the way to school. It has helped to bring people together and has helped to provide hope and emotional support through technology, even when things seem bleak. Thank you Mr. Technology, we’re glad you’re here.
Nov 26, 2018
Not feeling the holiday spirit? Do the holidays have you feeling glum? If so, you’re not the only one. Did you know holidays have a tendency of making those who feel happy, happier? and those who feel sad, sadder?
Maybe you’re grieving a breakup, divorce, death of a loved one or even the diagnosis of a medical condition. Perhaps you fall into the category where the winter season causes you to feel more depressed or anxious. Whatever the case, I need you to know you’re not the only one.
If you fall into any of these categories, here are 6 things you can try to boost your spirit:
Volunteer– humans are social creatures so doing something with, around or for others in an act of service or fellowship can enhance connection. Community and service can give one a feeling of satisfaction, accomplishment and fulfillment.
Attitude of gratitude– Finding things to be thankful for can increase overall feelings of happiness while decreasing feelings of depression. You can shift your mental lens of seeing life as a joyful experience rather than disappointment. Think of three things you’re grateful for before you even get out of bed. Then dwell on these things throughout the day. Train your brain to be more appreciative.
Be in nature– over the holidays if you’re feeling disconnected from others, it’s important to feel connected to something. Take a walk in the park, watch the sun set or see what new birds may be in your area.
Include natural light– During the winter, daylight is shorter; with less sun, we use more artificial light which can throw our internal rhythms off. So do your best to have natural light around you during the day. Light exposure can help regulate hormones and chemicals in your brain that affect your overall sleep and mood. So, if you work in a cubicle or windowless area, go outside during your break. When at home, open up curtains and blinds (not the actual windows) to let natural light inside.
Step out of routine– Do something you enjoy that you don’t normally do. Bring an air of excitement or unpredictability. Instead of watching a movie, read a book. Reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in awhile. Clean out that junk drawer. Cook a new meal.
Have a Staycation– If you’re unable to meet or travel to see your loved ones, enjoy the city you’re in. When was the last time you went to the library or to the nearest farmers market? See what tourists enjoy doing in your area and do it!
If you’re feeling low during the holidays or wintertime, just know you’re not alone. Countless people feel discouraged or down during times they “should” feel otherwise. If there has been a common theme of anxiety or depression for some time, there are people who can help. Look up local counselors, therapists or emotional support groups- if you’re not sure where to start, send us an email and we would be happy to help you or point you in the right direction.
Aug 6, 2018
I recently took an informal poll (shout out, you know who you are!) to hear what tips for a budding marriage all those married, separated, or divorced out there had. While the population was diverse, there were clear themes of listening and communication, being best friends, having TONS of patience and something about not going to bed angry. The biggest discrepancy, however, was in managing finances- to have or not to have joint bank accounts, that is the question (in Shakespearean tone of voice). No wonder it ranks as one of the top topics for greatest fights within a relationship! Take a read for some of the advice given from dozens of people who have been married from weeks to decades!:
- Always talk about your day, offer to help , never forget to tell him/her how much (s)he makes you feel better and special.
- Never go to bed angry….and always remember to continue to date your spouse…
- Forgive quickly.
- It’s not always easy. Sometimes you have to CHOOSE to love. Marriage is a choice everyday to commit to that person. The minute you stop doing that you are headed for a rocky path.
- Hangout for hours- talk, listen to music and just be together.
- Dedicate yourself to being useful to the person you love.
- Not every fight needs to be resolved. If it’s something petty there’s no need to hash it out, just agree to disagree. Make out like teenagers regularly. Keeps you young. (Christina Gonzales Polanco, San Antonio, TX).
- Add humor to serious conversations when you’re at a crossroads
- 123. 1. Own up, apologize even if it was unintended 2. Validate each others feelings 3. Try to learn from mistakes and vow to try not to make the mistake again.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s all small stuff.
- Avoid being touchy or emotional.
- Respect and love each other as equals. You’re partners.
- Have a budget!
- Listen and communicate.
- Kiss hello and goodbye.
- Don’t lie.
- Pick your battles. It won’t always be “fair”, so agree to disagree and remain friends.
- God, love, respect, trust.
- Never deny making love unless both are not in agreement.
- There is a solution to every problem. Be committed to finding that solution together as ONE.
- Put God first above all else and he will bless your marriage!
- Practice tolerance every day.
- We can get caught up in kids, jobs, etc., but when all that goes away – you will only have one another.
- When the little things start getting on your nerves, remember it was those same little things that made you fall in love.
- Forgiveness is important, play, laugh be silly and always touch.
- Pray together.
- Never stop dating.
- God first, then spouse, then kids.
Anything else you might add? Comment below!
May 30, 2018
By guest blogger: Lisa Arce, LPC
Have you found yourselves arguing more lately? Are you feeling disconnected, neglected or resentful?
Unfortunately for a lot of us, when we become angry at our spouse or partner we tend to shove it down, ignore it or not deal with it. Maybe we were taught to “pick your battles” or “it’s not worth getting angry about.” I call major BS on that. We need to tune into those emotions because that’s where growth lies. The 5 love languages allows us to understand what our spouse/partner needs from us. When we understand why we are fighting, we are in a better position to come up with a solution.
Here’s a look at what the 5 languages are:
- Words of Affirmation: If this is your love language, words speak louder than actions. Hearing, “I love you,” is important—hearing the reasons behind that love is even more powerful.
- Quality Time: To people with this love language, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical. Distractions or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
- Receiving Gifts: The receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known and that you are cared for. It’s all about the thought behind the gift.
- Acts of Service: Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Act of Service” person will speak wonders to them. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.”
- Physical Touch: A person whose primary language is physical touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.
Beyond fighting less (or at least more productively), the concept of love languages is great for maintaining the relationship, too. Sometimes when we’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it’s easy to get complacent. When we know our partner’s love language, it’s incredibly easy to tune into what they may or may not need from us or heck ask for it ourselves! It’s like a cheat code for your relationship.
Meeting your partner’s needs for love is a choice we make each day. If we know each other’s primary love language then we can choose to speak it and help each other feel secure and happy in our relationship. But what if our partner’s love language does not come naturally to us?Well, so?? When an action doesn’t come naturally to us and we choose to intentionally do it then that is an even greater expression of intimacy. When we talk about connecting to our partner, we are speaking about choosing to lean into connection.
Overall, it all comes down to knowing what’s important to people so that you can understand, empathize, and work with them a little better. Everyone is different. We all have different life experiences; we come from different backgrounds. It makes sense that we communicate differently, too. Now don’t get me wrong, the 5 love languages can’t fix everything. They’re not going to magically make problems go away. But the concept does go a long way in communicating and connecting better, and we all know how much that matters in a relationship.
Relationships need to be maintained and healthy relationships take work. If you need help with communicating and connecting better, send me an email at: nlisaarce89@gmail.com! I am ready to help you have healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
P.S. Did you know this love language business works with kids too? Try it out and let us know how it goes!
Apr 12, 2018
Below is a list of common complaints you are likely to hear your child say, especially if they are into their teen or tween years. Although you are likely pretty sharp on knowing your kid, below is a list of statements that are some common we may find ourselves discounting them. In some instances, ignoring as a parenting tactic is a good thing. However, there are times when children say something, we need to listen up!
“You never let me do anything!”
Welcome to one of many childhood explosions! Chances are you let your child do TONS of things. A few things are likely to be going on here: they are upset, are attempting to hit you where it hurts, and it has become clear there is a communication breakdown. At this point, it is likely your child, and perhaps you, are feeling a lot of emotion.
Now is not the time to try the rational and logical route, because it’s likely not to work (yet). Give them a few minutes. From there, revisit this topic. Your child needs to know a couple of things:
- they are always free to share their opinions or feelings.
- they are not allowed to be disrespectful to others [or to themselves].
- You are willing to hear them out.
Then empathize with their feeling: “I can understand how you could feel different from the rest of the group because you’re the only one who [can’t go eat after the dance]“, attempt to compromise (when able) “I’d be ok with you grabbing dinner with them another day,” and remember you are the parent and they are the child “but staying out after 11pm is out of the question.” What mom or dad says is the law.
“I don’t want to go to school.”
Sounds like a typical expression, and quite honestly, I think we’re all notorious for saying responses like: “Well I don’t want to go to work today but I still am,” “It’s called responsibility,” or “I don’t care.” Ask yourself a few questions. Is this the first time your are hearing your child say this? Is this typical behavior? Could there be something going on? Do they say this before school or after school? Is your child pending a big test or project? Are they only saying this on certain days? How did they sleep the night before? Take a look at the context of these statements. The answers to these questions could give you the insight you need to be able to judge when to ignore or when to listen.
“(S)he makes me feel creepy.”
Listen up. Ask more questions. “What do you mean by creepy?,” “Have they ever done or said anything to make you feel uncomfortable?,” “Do you know who they are?,” etc. Err on the side of caution. While we want our kids to be polite, intuition/gut feeling can go a long way. Kids are incredibly perceptive and may be picking up on something before we do. In situations like this, your supervision can go a long way. Sometimes this means actually keeping eyes on your child when this person is around. In cases where your child is in a different location, find the “adult in charge” and touch base with them. Also, follow up with your child and do some quick practice scenarios “What would you do if they got into your space and it makes you uncomfortable?” Encourage them to create distance by taking a step back, create a nonverbal barrier by picking up an arm or hand [in a non-aggressive way], and commit to strong eye contact with this person when stating “Please step back.” Also encourage them to always know the nearest exit and to have a buddy go with them behind closed doors when with this person. Lastly, validate. Let them know you are glad they told you how they were feeling and they can always trust you to share when they’re “not feeling right” about something.
“I’m Tired.”
Unless your kid is trying to get out of an undesirable chore, listen. Here’s what the National Sleep Foundation had to say:
- Preschoolers (3-5): Sleep range widened by one hour to 10-13 hours
- School age children (6-13): Sleep range widened by one hour to 9-11 hours
- Teenagers (14-17): Sleep range widened by one hour to 8-10 hours
Unfortunately, children aren’t getting enough hours of sleep and tend to fall into the minimum number of sleep recommended for their age. Remember, the time your child actually goes to bed, is likely not the time they are actually going to sleep- big difference. Throw in a growth spurt and sporting practice and they need even more sleep- your child may need to fall closer to the middle and maximum number of sleep recommended. They aren’t going to like the adjusted bed time, but they’ll appreciate it in the morning.
“Can I go over to [person you don’t know]s house?”
No. All together now, “No.” They will proceed to rave how you never let them do anything- if they’re teens, you may hear how unfair you are and how So-and-So’s mom/dad let’s them. You would proceed to tell them “I don’t know that person, but he/she is welcome to come over here after I’ve talked with their parents so that I can get to know them. Get their number tomorrow at school so I can call them.” Your child will likely not back down easily, and that’s ok. Being angry or frustrated is normal, but remember disrespect is not. My parents did a great job making our house-THE house to be at. We had newly released DVDs (rented), junk food, and the tastiest meals (shout out mom!). We had enough space to feel independent, and enough check-ins for my parents to have an idea of what was going on. Make your house the IT house.
Mar 28, 2018
Food and nutrition play a vital role in your child’s development and growth. In a nutshell, childhood eating habits can affect brain development, mood and behavior.
Many parents find themselves struggling with their child’s challenging behavior, and wonder is there something in their diet causing their behavior to be out of control? One option you may try is the elimination of offending foods like red dye 40. It has been linked to attention and memory difficulties, impulsivity, hyperactivity, and temper tantrums.
Nutrient absorption through digestion of energy from carbs, protein, and fats support the growth and development of a child. Micro- nutrients linked to brain function include proper amounts of choline, folic acid, zinc, B6, B12, and vitamin C. In my professional practice, I have experienced observational results in cognitive development utilizing adequate amounts of omega 3’s in the diet.
It is well known that some chemical components can cause allergic reactions or have significant effects on a child’s health and behavior. Therapeutic diets are prescribed for children with food sensitivities. There are also children who have allergic reactions to specific food components. These foods include peanuts, dairy, tree nuts, soy, eggs, and shellfish allergies. Children with celiac disease or wheat sensitivities are placed on a gluten free diet. Children with Autism may also try a GAPS diet to help with behavior.
The strategy most commonly used to eliminate or decrease challenging behaviors that may be caused from a food component, is finding what food item may be triggering your child’s behavior. Suggestions include, offer the food item as tolerated into your child’s diet for a period of time, then monitor their reaction if any, to evaluate if this item is a food trigger in their behavior. Then re- introduce the suspecting food trigger to seek similar resulting behavior.
- Children should eat less than 25grams of added sugar daily. Children ages 2-18 should eat less than 6 teaspoons of added sugar daily.
- Offer whole grains, daily fiber and prebiotics. Gluten free breads: Rice millet Bread by Food for Life or Schar Products.
- Include needed protein sources, dairy products, lean meat, fish, and legumes.
- Encourage foods with natural probiotics: fermented pickles, Yakult, sourdough bread.
- Ensure adequate daily intake of Omega 3 –fatty acids to promote brain development.
- Apply dairy substitutes: Flax seed milk, (Good Karma), hemp, coconut, rice, almond or soy milk.
- Alternative dairy: goat milk, a2Milk, (without- A1 protein) or lactose fee milk.
- Increase intake of healthy whole foods that are unprocessed, like cooked or fresh fruits and vegetables.
- Avoid foods that have artificial colors, as they tend to be high in fat and sugar: exclude excess juice based sweetened beverages and nutrient poor snacks.
- Offer adequate hydration and decrease high sugar drinks. Substitute water for flavored water, infuse water -fresh fruit mixed with water: non- artificial sweetened Capri Sun Roaring Waters, Sweetleaf water drops or True Citrus products.
What we feed our children and the eating habits they become familiar with can certainly affect their mood and behavior. Look into finding what may trigger your child’s behavior if you suspect a food item may be a factor. To help you become a food investigator for your child, work closely with a trained professional who specializes in identifying the triggers or chemicals that may clinical be affecting their behavior.
IF YOU WANT TO HEAR MORE FROM EVA, CONTACT HER AT: nutritionbyeva@gmail.com OR LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW.
Feb 12, 2018
Scientist, engineers, physicists, and the like have attempted to create something which could be the biggest contribution to mankind: A Time Machine. We’ve read the books, we’ve read the stories, and pretty much agree they’ve been sci-fi [for the most part]. I don’t mean to upset any future-time-machine-creators when I say “You’re going to need all the luck you can find,” because in reality, what they’re trying to do is re-create the mind.
The mind is the only organism on the planet that is capable of transporting a person to another time, outside of the current reality. The brain has the ability, that despite the actual physical state, to relive experiences of the past, or transport us into the future towards dreams or even fears. It’s capable of taking trips into different times and does what I like to call “mind trippin’.”
Let’s consider “daydreaming.” We’ve all been there, and with research that suggests minds can wander upwards of 40% of the time, it’s no wonder that around 10am each morning I’m already dreaming of what lunch is going to be. No harm, no foul right?
The ultimate difference between day dreaming and mind trippin’ is that day dreaming can be neutral or positive in nature, while mind trippin’, as I’ve defined it, can invoke fear, shame, anxiety, or worry. Mind trippin’, when left to the chaos of its own terms, is the definition of mental health conditions like anxiety, depression or post-traumatic stress disorder.
With mind trippin’ the mind creates an alternate reality and experiences hard emotions, negative thoughts and reactive actions that reflect the imagined reality [not the present/current reality]. Think of the war vet, who comes back home and runs for cover when he hears a car exhaust backfire. Think of the mom who starts calling every major hospital after her teenager doesn’t answer the phone when she’s out. They’re reacting based off an alternate reality that feeds off major fears, doubts, and insecurities.
So remember the mind trip causes the mind to “leave” and wander off to a place in the future or the past that prompts anxiety and/or fear. Read more about those feelings here. Here are a few ways to get the mind back to the present reality:
- Command your mind to “go white” then imagine a giant stop sign. Stop the uncontrolled thoughts and stop the chaotic thinking. Imagery and visual cues can be really helpful in simply slowing down the mind.
- Reground yourself with slow and deep “belly breaths.” This means when you inhale, the breath causes the belly to rise (NOT the chest); on the exhale, the belly should flatten. Repeat this three times.
- 3, 2, 1– say out loud three things you can see, two things you can feel, and one thing you can hear. This is you body’s way of literally reminding the body of where you are (ex: “No Tommy, you’re not in Afghanistan anymore, you can see your TV, your dog, and that chips bag. You can feel your nikes on your feet and the ring on your finger. You can hear your wife doing dishes.”)
Remember, the simplest of strategies can sometimes be the most difficult to apply. The above strategies are like anything else, they will only get better with practice- the more often you do it, the better off you will be at using it when you need it. Leave a comment below of times you’ll try one of these techniques out.
Nov 23, 2024
WRITTEN BY: Sabrina Del Angel LPC-Associate Supervised by Dr. Maria Haiyasoso LPC-S
The holidays are here, and with them come the lights, traditions, and… stress? Yes, for many of us, this “joyful” season can feel like a whirlwind. Between gift shopping, family gatherings, and financial strain, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. You’re not alone if you’re already feeling the holiday hustle and pressure! Here are some easy ways to stay grounded during holiday stress and find peace in the season.
Embrace the Messiness
Holidays have a way of stirring up expectations. We want everything to go smoothly, for family to get along, and for every dish to come out Instagram-worthy. But holidays rarely go perfectly. What if, instead, we embraced the imperfect moments? The burned cookies, the forgotten gift, even the disagreements—they’re all part of the season, too. Sometimes, letting go of perfection can be the most freeing way to enjoy the holidays. Instead of trying to control every detail, try to enjoy the little moments that make the season unique.
Planning Ahead to Reduce Stress
Many of us dive head-first into holiday prep, only to end up frantically wrapping gifts at the last minute. This year, consider a bit of planning ahead. Try jotting down a quick calendar for events and to-dos so that you’re not caught off guard. Setting mini-goals—like finishing gift shopping by a certain date—can give you a sense of control. Just a little organization can make a big difference, reducing that last-minute scramble and helping you feel more relaxed.
Keep an Eye on Your Budget
Overspending can add stress during and after the holidays. Try setting a budget early and sticking to it. Consider meaningful, low-cost options, like making a favorite family recipe or crafting a photo album. Often, thoughtful gifts mean more than anything bought in a store.
Prioritize Self-Care, Even for a Few Minutes
During the holiday rush, self-care might feel like an afterthought. But taking care of yourself helps you better enjoy the season. Try to keep some routines in place, like getting enough sleep or taking a few minutes each day to breathe deeply. Even stepping outside for a walk or doing a quick stretching exercise can help recharge you.
Rainbow breathing is a simple technique you can do anywhere—just inhale slowly and imagine a rainbow of colors, and exhale, releasing any tension with each breath. It’s quick, effective, and works for kids too if you want a family activity!
Setting Boundaries, Guilt-Free
It’s easy to feel pressured to attend every gathering and make everyone happy. But spreading yourself too thin can lead to burnout. Give yourself permission to say no if you need a quiet evening or want to spend time with close family. Protecting your energy allows you to enjoy the events that matter most, without overextending yourself.
Stay Grounded in Small Moments
When the holiday season feels overwhelming, consider grounding yourself in small sensory experiences can bring calm. Pause to savor the scent of cinnamon in a warm drink, the softness of a cozy blanket, or the gentle glow of holiday lights. These moments of mindfulness help you reconnect to the present, creating a sense of peace amid the hustle and bustle.
Remember, peace and joy aren’t found in perfection but in presence. But by staying mindful and applying these 6 easy ways to stay grounded during the holiday stress, it can help you greatly. As Philippians 4:6-7 beautifully reminds us: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Let this season be one of connection, gratitude, and hope.
Nov 7, 2024
Thinking of November, most of us think of Thanksgiving and the holidays. But what if the holidays don’t feel like the “Thanksgiving spirit”? It’s hard to feel thankful when things are tough. Especially when the holidays seem to be getting us down rather than up. How to choose gratitude in difficult times can be hard to figure out, so this blog will talk more about choosing it, even when you don’t feel like it.
Why Gratitude is Difficult
It’s important to acknowledge that holding onto 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus,” isn’t always that easy. Choosing gratitude can be tough. Family dynamics may be strained, finances may be tight, and year-end goals may remain unmet. It’s essential to have a gentle but honest conversation with yourself: even when we don’t feel like it, choosing gratitude is, indeed, a choice.
How to Express Gratefulness to God
Now, let’s consider appreciation to God. If choosing gratitude toward yourself and others feels difficult, perhaps choosing gratitude toward God is a bit simpler. It’s essential to take the time to appreciate and give thanks to God for guiding you through different seasons. While you may not feel like it today, there have been times when you have overcome challenges. The scripture encourages us: “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” — Psalm 100:4. Gratitude can manifest through spending time in prayer, highlighting the ways God has shown up for you—in your life, your children’s health, your job, and the roof over your head. The things you feed are the things you grow, so if you nourish an attitude of gratitude, it will surely flourish.
How to Choose Gratitude with Yourself
So, how do you do it? First, start with expressing appreciation to yourself. You can choose to be grateful for your own efforts and accomplishments. Take a moment to reflect on your personal growth over the years, even if it feels unnatural. Practice self-appreciation by acknowledging your accomplishments, celebrating simple victories throughout the day, and expressing thankfulness for having navigated difficult times so far.
How to Show Appreciation to Others
Now, express appreciation to others. We often treat others based on how we feel about ourselves. When we feel thankful for ourselves, it becomes easier to express appreciation to others. Choosing to have gratitude toward others, even when you don’t feel like it, can be challenging. But it can start with something small: appreciate acts of kindness, leave a handwritten note, or offer a sincere “thank you.”
Choose Gratitude: Think, Feel, and Act
When we think grateful thoughts, we feel grateful emotions, and we begin to act in a more grateful way. Before you can express these attitudes of gratitude, it’s important to intentionally focus on and choose gratitude, even when you don’t feel like it. Reflect on positive moments, thoughts, and times when things have gone well. This will naturally inspire thankful emotions and feelings. Remember, feelings listen to thoughts, so choose wisely. As you do this, watch how you begin to act and move in a more grateful direction.
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” — Colossians 3:17.
Oct 28, 2024
WRITTEN BY: JENNIFER PATRICK, LMSW
Welcome to our October edition of the How Do I Know? blog series! Last time, we explored how to recognize the signs of anxiety. This month, we’re turning our focus to a topic that affects many but isn’t always easy to talk about: depression. As we celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month, there’s no better time to raise awareness about how depression impacts our Hispanic/Latinx community. This is an opportunity to not only honor the strength and beauty of Hispanic Heritage but also to prioritize Hispanic Heritage and mental health within our community.
Mental Health in Our Comunidad
Hispanic Heritage Month is a moment to celebrate our rich traditions and contributions. But as we reflect on our culture, it’s essential to also open up conversations about mental health—especially depression, which often goes undiscussed in our community.
There’s a common belief that we need to “tough it out” when it comes to emotional struggles, or that asking for help is a sign of weakness. The truth is, depression is real, and it’s crucial to recognize it for what it is. Recognizing depression signs and symptoms isn’t just about feeling down for a day or two; it’s a serious condition that can affect your mood, relationships, and even your physical well-being. The reality is that you’re not alone. In fact, research shows that Hispanic adults are more likely to experience depression, yet many don’t seek help due to cultural stigma or the idea that we should “handle it ourselves.”
At La Luz Counseling, we know breaking this stigma is difficult. But taking care of your mental health? That’s strength. Our compassionate team is here to support you in recognizing the signs of depression—whether that’s losing interest in activities you once loved, feeling an overwhelming sense of hopelessness, or finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning.
Hispanic Mental Health and Depression
So, how can you tell if you’re experiencing depression and not just going through a rough patch? Recognizing depression signs and symptoms can manifest differently in each person, but some common signs include feeling constantly tired, losing interest in things that used to bring joy, struggling to focus, and withdrawing from loved ones. You may also notice changes in your sleep—either having trouble sleeping or sleeping too much. Depression can also appear as irritability, guilt, or feelings of worthlessness. If these feelings last for more than two weeks, it’s time to consider reaching out for help.
At La Luz Counseling, our team is here to walk with you through this journey. You don’t have to wait until things feel unbearable to seek support. If something feels off emotionally or mentally, it’s okay to ask for help sooner rather than later. Reaching out is a powerful step toward healing and reclaiming your sense of self. For Hispanic counseling and therapy services, we’re here to provide culturally sensitive care that respects and understands your unique experiences.
Latino Cultural Expectations and the Weight We Carry
In our Hispanic/Latino culture, family is at the heart of everything, and resilience is a source of pride. But sometimes, the weight of cultural expectations—whether it’s family obligations, traditional gender roles, or the pressure to appear strong—can take a toll on our mental health.
Many of us are trying to navigate life between two cultures—the one we grew up in and the one we encounter daily at work, school, or in broader society. This balancing act can be stressful, often leading to feelings of isolation or depression. But you don’t have to carry that burden alone. It’s okay to pause and recognize that you don’t always have to be the one holding everything together. At La Luz Counseling, we’re here to offer the support you deserve through Hispanic (and/or Spanish speaking) counseling and therapy services tailored to our community’s unique needs.
Breaking the Silence Around Depression
It’s time to break the silence! Depression doesn’t have to be a secret. The more we talk about it, the more we reduce the stigma. By raising awareness, we create a space where everyone feels safe seeking the help they need.
At La Luz Counseling, our English and Spanish speaking counselors are culturally sensitive and understand the unique challenges the Hispanic/Latino community faces. Whether you’re dealing with depression, anxiety, or any other mental health issue, we’re here for you with open arms. Together, we’ll help you find ways to feel more like yourself again. With the guidance of Hispanic (and/or Spanish speaking) counseling and therapy services that bridge the gap between our heritage and mental wellness.
Combining Faith and Therapy
For many of us, faith is a big part of our lives. It’s a source of strength and guidance through tough times. While faith can be a wonderful support system, it’s important to recognize that sometimes we need more, like therapy to manage depression. The great news is that therapy and faith can go hand-in-hand!
At La Luz Counseling, we encourage you to draw on your faith while also embracing the tools that therapy offers to support your mental wellness. It’s all about finding the balance that works for you. And you don’t have to figure this out alone!
No matter how low you may feel, God is near, and healing is possible.
Celebrating Hispanic Heritage and Mental Health
This Hispanic Heritage Month, let’s celebrate not only the beauty of our culture but also the importance of mental health. At La Luz Counseling, we’re here to walk alongside you on your mental health journey, with counselors who get where you’re coming from and want to see you thrive.
You can be proud of your heritage and take care of your mental wellness. Let’s embrace both! If you think you might be struggling with depression or if you’re not sure what you’re feeling, it’s okay to reach out. We’re here to help you answer the question, “How do I know if I’m depressed?” and guide you toward healing and growth.
Oct 8, 2024
WRITTEN BY: By Jennifer Patrick, LMSW
Welcome to our “How do I know” blog series at La Luz Counseling! This October, we’re diving into all things mental health to help you recognize the signs and know when to seek a helping hand. Today, in honor of World Mental Health Day, we’re talking about something super important: Anxiety!
What is Anxiety?
Anxiety isn’t just those butterflies in your stomach before a big event? NOPE! Anxiety is more than just occasional nervousness. It’s when those worries and fears start to feel like they’re running the show. We all feel stressed now and then, but if that stress is sticking around and making daily life tough or overwhelming, it might be anxiety waving its hand at you.
Signs of Anxiety
It can sometimes be tricky to tell if you’re just stressed or if you’re experiencing anxiety. Here are some common signs to watch out for:
- Excessive Worry: Constantly feeling anxious about everyday things like health, work, or social situations.
- Physical Symptoms: Rapid heartbeat, trembling, sweating, or stomach issues can often accompany anxiety.
- Restlessness or Irritability: Feeling like you can’t relax, always on edge, or easily irritated by small things.
- Avoidance Behavior: Steering clear of certain situations or places because they trigger feelings of anxiety.
- Difficulty Concentrating: Struggling to focus or feeling like your mind is racing or going blank.
- Sleep Issues: Trouble falling or staying asleep, or waking up feeling unrefreshed due to worry.
When It’s Time to Talk To Someone
Once you know the signs, it’s easier to take that next step. If any of this is sounding a little too familiar, it might be an indicator that it might be worth a chat with a professional. Here’s when to reach out:
Persistent Symptoms: If the symptoms last for several weeks or months without improving, it’s a good idea to seek help.
Impact on Daily Life: If anxiety is interfering with work, relationships, or day-to-day activities, reaching out for support is key.
Escalating Symptoms: If your anxiety feels like it’s intensifying, or if there are thoughts of self-harm, it’s important to get immediate help.
Difficulty Coping: If personal strategies like meditation, exercise, or talking with loved ones aren’t easing your anxiety, that’s when professional support can really make a difference.
Taking the First Step
If you’ve read this far and something is clicking, just remember: You’re never alone! Anxiety can feel overwhelming, but the right support can help you find your way back to calm. At La Luz Counseling, we’re ready to walk with you on your journey to feeling better.
In moments of anxiety, we can find comfort in Philippians 4:6-7, which says: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
This World Mental Health Day, take a moment to check in with yourself and those around you. Recognizing the signs of anxiety early can truly change lives. Stay tuned for more posts in our “How Do I Know” series, where we’ll explore various mental health topics and offer helpful tips.
Your Mental Health Matters!
If you or someone you care about is struggling with anxiety, don’t hesitate to reach out. Together, we can create a community that supports each other and lifts up mental health awareness!
Sep 24, 2024
WRITTEN BY: Sabrina Del Angel, LPC-Associate supervised by Dr. Maria Haiyasoso LPC-S.
Going back to school is exciting, but it can also bring some nervousness. It’s totally normal for kids and teens to feel a little anxious about starting a new school year. Whether it’s worrying about new teachers, making friends, or just getting used to school again, these feelings happen to a lot of people. But don’t worry—there are ways to handle it! Here are some tips to help ease those back-to-school jitters.
Back to School Jitters: Tips for Parents
- Spot the Worries: Kids don’t always say when they’re anxious, but you can spot it by noticing changes like headaches, stomachaches, crankiness, or trouble sleeping. Watch for these signs and check in with them.
- Show You Understand: Let your child know it’s okay to be nervous. Instead of brushing off their worries, say things like, “I get why you might be feeling this way.” It helps them feel supported.
- Get into a Routine: This could be waking up earlier, laying out clothes, or helping them pack their backpack. Having a plan helps make the new school year feel less scary.
- Pump Up the Positivity: Help your kids think positively by reminding them of their strengths. Simple phrases like “You’ve got this! Just do your best” or “Just be yourself, and your classmates will want to get to know you!” can boost their confidence.
- Reach Out for Extra Support: If the anxiety doesn’t seem to be going away or it’s affecting your child’s daily life, it might be time to connect with a counselor or therapist. Professional support can help ease those worries.
Back to School Jitters: Tips for Kids
- It’s Okay to Feel Nervous: First off, being nervous about going back to school is totally normal! Everyone feels it in different ways. Remember—you’re not alone!
- Small Steps, Big Difference: Take things one step at a time. Try focusing on just one or two things you can control, like getting your supplies ready or thinking about something fun like lunch with friends. It helps keep you from feeling overwhelmed.
- Talk It Out: If you’re feeling super anxious, find someone you trust—a parent, friend, or even a pet—and talk about what’s bothering you. Sharing your feelings can make you feel better.
- Remember What Makes You Awesome: You’ve got your own special skills! Maybe you’re good at math, drawing, or just being an amazing friend. Remind yourself of what makes you awesome, and lean on that when things feel tough.
- Take Care of Yourself: Little things like getting good sleep, taking deep breaths, or even doing a quick stretch can help calm your nerves. Find what helps you relax and do that whenever you feel anxious.
A Little Encouragement to End On
“Believe you can, and you’re halfway there.” —Theodore Roosevelt
No matter how anxious this school year feels, remember that with the right support, you and your child can handle anything that comes your way!
Sep 17, 2024
WRITTEN BY: JENNIFER PATRICK, LMSW
Does your child seem overwhelmed after school? It’s pretty common for after school anxiety in children to occur during the transition from school to home. Between homework, after-school activities, and just needing some downtime, they can get a little frazzled. Plus, they’ve been holding it together all day at school and might let their emotions out at home, leading to tantrums or difficulty adjusting. But don’t worry! There are simple ways you can help them relax and still get things done.
1. Snack & Chill (10-15 minutes)
After a long day at school, a snack and some chill time are perfect! Offer something yummy and healthy—maybe some fruit, yogurt, or a granola bar. A snack will help them recharge and feel ready for what’s next.
During this time, let them unwind with a simple activity like coloring, reading, or even just chatting with you about their day. This little break helps them transition without feeling rushed. Try to skip screens, though, since those can be a bit too stimulating!
2. Move It! (10-20 minutes)
A little movement can work wonders. Whether it’s playing outside, riding a bike, or doing some stretches or yoga, getting their body moving can help shake off any built up tension from the school day. Plus, moving around releases feel good chemicals in the brain, which can help reduce anxiety.
If they’re stuck indoors, no problem! Try some indoor activities like dancing, jumping jacks, or following along with a kid friendly yoga video. It’s a great way to reset and feel energized before diving into homework.
3. Homework Time! (30-60 minutes)
Now that they’ve had some chill and movement time, it’s time for homework. Setting a regular time for homework can help your child know what to expect. Create a cozy, quiet space where they can focus, and let them know they don’t have to do it all at once!
Break the homework into little chunks—maybe 20-30 minutes of focused work with a 5-10 minute break in between. This makes homework less overwhelming and more manageable. Plus, those short breaks will help keep their mind fresh and anxiety low.
4. Fun with Extracurriculars (30-60 minutes or more)
Extracurricular activities can be both fun and relaxing! Whether it’s sports, music, or art, these activities can help your child express themselves and burn off some extra energy. But be careful not to over-schedule them! One or two activities a week is plenty to keep things fun without adding stress.
Let your child pick the activities they truly enjoy, and make sure they still have some downtime to just be a kid!
5. Wind Down Before Bed (20-30 minutes)
A relaxing bedtime routine helps ease any lingering anxiety. This can include reading a book, writing in a journal, or taking a warm bath. These calming activities will help your child’s mind and body know it’s time to wind down.
If your child is feeling extra anxious, try some breathing exercises or a short, calming meditation. Simple breathing exercises like the 4-4-4 method (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds) are great tools to help them relax before bed.
Final Thoughts
After school anxiety in children is normal, but it doesn’t have to take over the evening! With a balanced routine that includes relaxation, a little movement, and time for homework and activities, your child can unwind and still get everything done. By creating a simple after school plan, you can help them feel more relaxed, less anxious, and ready to enjoy the rest of their day.
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7
Aug 21, 2024
WRITTEN BY: JENNIFER PATRICK, LMSW
Have you ever felt like life’s challenges are piling up, leaving you stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed? Maybe you’ve considered therapy but hesitated because of the time commitment or the thought of going to a therapist’s office. That’s where virtual counseling, or telehealth counseling, comes in. You can use your computer, phone, or tablet, right from the comfort of your own home. This is especially helpful when you’re strapped for time.
Easy Access, Anytime, Anywhere
One of the biggest perks of virtual counseling is its accessibility. You can easily connect with your therapist at a time that works for you. Whether you’re at home, at work, or even on the go you, as long as you have a device you can have your session. This flexibility makes it easier to fit therapy into your life than to fit your life into therapy. This means you can get the help you need without the added stress of time constraints.
Comfort and Privacy
Talking about your feelings can be tough. Doing it in a space where you feel safe and comfortable can make a big difference. Virtual counseling allows you to choose the space that feels best for you. This could be your favorite chair at home, your car where you know it’s quiet and secure or any other private space. Plus, without the worry of running into someone you know in the waiting room, you can focus entirely on your session. For those with social anxiety or a fear of being in public, virtual counseling is a great option. It lets you have therapy without the extra stress of being in public. You can be yourself more easily in a private and cozy space.
Consistency, Even in Uncertain Times
Life can be unpredictable. Sometimes circumstances make it difficult to attend in person therapy sessions. Virtual counseling ensures that you can stay connected with your therapist, no matter what’s going on in the world. Whether school aged kiddo is home unexpectedly or you’ve only got an hour to attend therapy before your own work commitments, virtual counseling allows you to still have therapy without missing other important commitments. However, it’s important to be sure you are in the state where your counselor is licensed, even for virtual sessions. Our counseling doesn’t cross state lines which means you can’t be out of state when you have your therapy session.
Proven Effectiveness
But does it work? The good news is, YES! Research has shown no statistical difference in outcomes between virtual and in person counseling. Virtual counseling can help you manage stress, anxiety, depression, and other emotional challenges. It’s just as effective as in person sessions. It’s a great tool that can help you learn new coping skills, gain insight into your thoughts and emotions, and improve your overall well-being.
A Therapy Experience Tailored to You
Virtual counseling isn’t just about convenience. It’s about creating a therapy experience that works for you and your busy schedule. It allows for a personalized approach. Whether you’re looking for a deep dive into your emotions or a session with a touch of humor to lighten the load. Your therapist can meet you where you are (literally and figuratively). This helps you navigate your mental health journey with the support and guidance you need.
As you start your therapy journey, we would encourage you to think about the words from Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” In times of hard times, these words can be a source of comfort, reminding you that you are not alone. Whether through your faith, your therapy, family or both, there can be hope and healing ahead.
If you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or just need someone to talk to, give virtual counseling a try. It’s an accessible, private, and an effective way to take care of your mental health, all while fitting seamlessly into your life. Virtual counseling could be the key to feeling better and living a more balanced, fulfilling life- whether you’re in your pajamas on the couch or dressed in your best business casual during a lunch break.
Dec 28, 2023
Hey there, San Antonio neighbors! Let’s chat about a hidden oasis in our 78230 area, just a hop away from Shavano Park—Phil Hardberger Park. This isn’t your average blog; we’re here to explore how this green haven can be your go-to spot for healing, especially when life throws some tough punches your way. So, grab your favorite beverage, settle in, and let’s uncover the therapeutic wonders of Phil Hardberger Park, blending nature vibes with a touch of wisdom for your journey to tranquility.
Phil Hardberger Park: Where Chill Meets Healing in 78230
Picture this: the city hum fades away, replaced by the gentle rustle of leaves, fresh air, and abundant sunlight. Phil Hardberger Park, nestled in the heart of our San Antonio community, is more than just a park—it’s like a big, green hug for your soul. And it’s just a few minutes from our La Luz Counseling home office! Want to know more about fun vibes in nature and sun, read more here.
Here’s why this spot is undeniably awesome:
- Nature Vibes for the Soul: Nature has a unique way of making you feel warm and fuzzy inside, doesn’t it? The park takes that natural therapy to the next level. Whether you’re strolling the trails or finding a serene spot, the surroundings are therapeutic for your mind. There are numerous forms of therapy we can incorporate into our daily lives, promoting health and bringing us closer to joy and healing.
- Breathing Space for Your Brain: Life can get chaotic, and sometimes, you just need a moment to catch your breath. Phil Hardberger Park offers the perfect chill zone—a personal pitstop away from the hustle, giving your brain the space it needs to hit the reset button.
“Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
This verse brings comfort and reassurance, urging us to find peace in moments of chaos by acknowledging a higher power. It encourages trust in divine wisdom, even amidst challenges, advocating for a moment of stillness to reflect on this truth.
Connecting with Cool Peeps on the Healing Journey: Feeling like you’re navigating the healing journey solo? Fear not! Phil Hardberger Park naturally brings people together. A nod to a fellow walker or a shared smile on a bench—these little moments make a significant difference.
Conclusion:
As we wrap up our laid-back conversation about Phil Hardberger Park, remember: healing isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. Whether you seek a quiet moment, nature therapy, or a vibe that resonates with you, this park’s got it all. La Luz Counseling is here, cheering you on, saying, “Make Phil Hardberger Park your 78230 chill zone!” Take that first step, soak it in, and let the good vibes roll. Because it’s so close to our La Luz Counseling office, you could even hit up both locations in one day! You’ve got this. 🌿✨
Aug 30, 2023
So, you’ve decided to take a step towards counseling, and we’re right here with you. Starting this journey might feel like a new adventure, full of unknowns, but don’t worry – we’re here to shine some light on the path ahead.
You’re the Expert of Your Story
First things first, your story is yours. Yes, we’re the professionals but YOU are the expert. You know you’re story better than we do. We aren’t here to tell you what to do or how to do it. Picture us as your training partner on the track of life, standing by to offer support as you sprint through the challenges and curves ahead.
Taking the First Step
Starting counseling is like taking that first step towards a healthier you. You’re still going to be the same you, just a better version. It’s okay to feel a mix of emotions – that’s all part of the process. You don’t have to know exactly what to say, but start by making the call or sending a message. Tell the person on the other side “I’m interested in starting counseling as soon as you have an opening.” Your message doesn’t have to be long or formal. Just be you. Remember, every big change starts with a single step.
Unexpected Positivity
Yes, counseling can involve deep emotions, but it’s not always so intense. Laughter, “aha” moments, a sense of relief, and even humor – they’re all part of the counseling too. You will be equipped with the tools for healing, and we’re here to walk with you as you uncover them.
As you step into each session, you’re not stepping alone; we’re by your side, offering practical tools and insights to make this counseling journey one of growth and empowerment. With each session, you’ll gain new skills, insights, and perspectives – your own set of navigational tools for life’s challenges. So, let’s begin this adventure together, one step at a time, as you chart a course toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.
Ready? Let’s walk this path – your path – and find the light you deserve.
Aug 4, 2023
Written By: Marquia Caldwell, LPC
Summer has arrived, and it’s time to prioritize taking care of yourself! With the sun shining bright and the heat turned up high, let’s embrace the season and jump into relaxation mode. Forget about the idea that taking care of yourself has to be boring or serious – this blog is all about making your summer fun and exciting! Get ready to have a great time while learning why it’s important to take care of yourself during this sunny season! Prepare to have a blast while discovering your unique self-care experience during this sunny season!
This article is part 2 of a 3 part series talking all about how you can let summer “luz” (spanish for “light”) shine into your life on a daily basis. I know the heat is tough out there but there are still ways to give your body some much needed love and take time in the great outdoors.
This article is part 2 of a 3 part series talking all about how you can let summer “luz” (spanish for “light”) shine into your life on a daily basis.
- Nature Palooza: Start getting ready to rock the great outdoors! There are serious benefits of embracing nature and seek out other outdoor adventures that will have you feeling grounded, inspired, and utterly alive. Although San Antonio can hit groundbreaking heat, you can still find some cool down slots when that sun is going down and the water is refreshing. Different rivers and lakes are nearby to help keep you cool!
- Mindfulness Extravaganza: Summer is all about living in the moment! You can introduce yourself to mindfulness activities like mindful ice cream eating or barefoot strolls on the grass. It’s time to savor each activity and experience life with all your senses.
- Chillaxation Celebration: Summer is the ultimate season for relaxation. Unplug from the digital chaos, encourage yourself to kick back and relax in style, and create your own mini oasis of peace and tranquility. Let’s trade the hustle for hammocks and the noise for naps!
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