Can Anxiety Hurt my Body?

Sep 12, 2022

Anxiety in Your Body

Ever had a belly ache and hot sweat right before a big presentation? How about “insomnia” at night because you’re thinking of all of the things that can go wrong tomorrow? Feeling like your heart is going to beat out of your chest or like you’re on the verge of a heart attack? Most adults are likely to visit a medical professional if symptoms like these persist, but did you know they could actually be stemming from an emotional or mental issue?

Physical Symptoms of Anxiety

Anxiety is often a misdiagnosed condition early on. Many complain of body symptoms like a severe headache, bellyache, neck stiffness, rapid heart rate, increased blood pressure, and just feeling plain sick! These are called psychosomatic complaints. Yes, there’s a fancy word to describe how anxiety and other mental health problems can come out like a physical ailment in your body.

Questions Your Doctor May Ask You About Anxiety

Unfortunately, many who visit a doctor or medical professional for these chronic symptoms are often met with little to no relief. The medications prescribed are unhelpful, extensive testing yields negative results, which often leaves the patient and provider with confusion and uncertainty. It is often after many visits and little to no response from the medication regimen that someone from the medical professional team may explore other, more emotionally rooted questions with you:

How has your stress level been lately?
How have you been sleeping?
Is there anything else in your life bothering you at this time?
Do you feel like this is getting in the way of your daily life?
Does anyone in you family have mental health issues?

Remember, the doctor is not trying to offend you by asking these questions. They are trying to help point you in the right direction but need some extra details from you first. So do your best to be honest, and offer some more insight into what it feels like to be you.

Many doctors suggest the patient seeks services from a mental health professional if they believe your physical complaints are part of a psychological issue. That’s where we come in. Talking about and processing out loud with a safe person help you to work through things that have been really difficult.

Anxiety Doesn’t Define You

One thing we’d like to make clear early is you are not your mental health condition. Your mental health condition does not define you. Nor does your physical health for that matter. Anxiety, for example, is part of your life, but it is not all of it. you are not anxiety. Anxiety holds one small place in your heart and mind, amongst the hundreds of other important things.

Getting properly diagnosed for a mental health condition actually helps to get those physical symptoms under control. There is a way to find relief and freedom from these psychosomatic complaints. But it’s going to start first by discussing what’s going on in your heart and mind. If you’re not sure what to expect from counseling, here’s an article that talks more about that here. Reach out, find help today.

What is Trauma?

Sep 6, 2022

WRITTEN BY: MARQUIA CALDWELL, LPC
“Trauma is much more than a story about the past…trauma is re-experienced in the present, not as a story, but as profoundly disturbing physical sensations and emotions that may be associated with memories of past trauma”

-Bessel van der Kolk, a trauma expert

When mental health professionals talk about trauma and mental health, we are talking about an emotional or psychological injury. Trauma is a response to an experience that overwhelms an individual’s capacity to cope, often as a result of dangerous situations or life threatening events. This can be a single event or multiple events. These experiences cause a negative impact on the mind and heart. There are various forms of trauma such as, but can include the following:
- - - Abuse (sexual, physical, and emotional),
    - Life-threatening accidents or illnesses,
    - Violence in school or the community,
    - Domestic violence (witnessing or experiencing),
    - National disasters,
    - Acts of terror,
    - Public health crises such as COVID-19,
    - Loss of a loved one, especially when sudden or violent in nature,
    - Refugee or war experiences,
    - and Neglect.
  Noticeable signs when struggling with trauma can include:
  Trauma writes itself on the mind and body of survivors. This means our actions, reactions, and behaviors are a result of our painful experiences. Each traumatic experience is unique and can manifest in lots ways such as PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, Substance Abuse, Eating Disorders, Chronic Pain, Increased chances of experiencing life-threatening conditions, Relationship and Social Issues.
  
  “Our traumas do NOT define us; they are just a PART of who we are.”
  
  Recovery and Support
  
  Recovery with trauma is a journey. Think of having a deep cut on your arm. There are options presented to us to heal this cut. You can leave it alone and let it heal on its own, clean it and cover it, or go to a professional to close it up. When it comes to emotional wounds, most cover it up and hope for the best. However, sometimes when we think things are healed, we realize it didn’t quite heal right.
- Re-opening wounds can be part of the process of healing, and with counseling, this is oftentimes the case. There are various forms of counseling and psychotherapy to help survivors cope with their traumatic experiences. Along with therapy, doing enjoyable activities/ hobbies and surrounding oneself with a positive support system is incredibly helpful in coping with trauma as well.
- If you’re not sure where to start, but know you have experienced trauma, don’t wait for things to get harder or worse. Remember, getting help for trauma doesn’t have an expiration date. Even if traumatic things happened “a long time ago,” your heart can still find healing today.

Anxiety- What is it?

Aug 11, 2022

WRITTEN BY: KIMBERLY ALANIZ, LCSW-S

Nearly every individual will experience symptoms of anxiety in their lifetime. In fact, small amounts of anxiety aren’t necessarily a bad thing. So, can anxiety be good? Or even helpful? The answer is, yes! Like other emotions, anxiety serves an important biological purpose; protection.

The Evolution of Anxiety

Evolutionarily (think back to cave man days) it protected cavemen from walking through tall grass with the potential of being attacked by an animal hiding feet away. In today’s modern world, anxiety can push you to study for a big algebra test, encourage you to apply for your dream job or discourage you from walking down a dark, empty alley alone.

Biologically, anxiety prepares and helps the body to fight, freeze or flee a stressful situation in an attempt to protect. You may experience this as a rapid heart rate and breathing, which purpose is to send oxygenated blood to muscles you need in the process (i.e., your legs). You may even experience this as racing thoughts, which mentally prepares you for every possible scenario. Although the experience itself may feel negative, healthy amounts of anxiety are normal.

So, when can anxiety be bad or unhelpful? When the feelings of anxiety become excessive dread or fear that interrupts everyday life even when there is no evidence of a real threat. These symptoms could suggest a clinical anxiety disorder.

Common Anxiety Disorders:

· Generalized anxiety disorder– excessive, unrealistic worry about everyday life situations with no obvious reason.

· Social anxiety disorder- excessive fear and irrational thoughts about social situations to include worries about feeling judged, embarrassed or humiliated.

· Panic disorder- excessive fear and worries about losing control or disaster accompanied by sudden or frequent attacks of fear that last a few minutes to longer (also called panic attacks).

Common Symptoms of Anxiety Disorders

· Feelings of panic, dread and doom,

· Difficulties falling and staying asleep,

· Shortness of breath or rapid shallow breathing,

· Rapid heart beat,

· Tense muscles,

· Stomach issues not explained by another medical condition,

· Over thinking,

· Inability to concentrate.

Sound familiar? If you or someone you love is struggling contact a mental health professional who can help you understand anxiety and help find ways to manage symptoms. Contact us today!

What to Expect When You’re Expecting…Your First Counseling Appointment

Jul 18, 2022

Thinking of your first session with your counselor can be scary. But rest assured, it’s not as scary as you think. This blog below will go over some expectations you can have for your first meeting with your new counselor.

How a Counselor is Different than a Doctor

To begin, a counseling appointment is very different than meeting with a doctor. A counseling session is a talk therapy session. You and your counselor will be conversating with the intent to go over as much information about you as possible. You will talk about what brings you to counseling and what you hope to get from it. Counselors do not prescribe medication, nor are we able to, so don’t count on us for that. We can, however, diagnose you with a mental health condition like generalized anxiety or post traumatic stress disorder. *If you are looking for medication for psyhological issues, you need a psychiatric appointment.

Counseling Paperwork

The first counseling appointment is about an hour or a little more. You will also have to complete loads of documents and forms (insurance info, informed consent, credit card authorization form, etc). Any good counselor will REQUIRE you to complete these before your session.

Your counselor will spend some time reviewing the informed consent with you. This form goes through fees, what to expect from counseling, how to get a hold of your counselor, your rights, and limits to confidentiality. One of the most important things is that you know all of what you share in counseling is private and confidential—with the exception of a few things, mainly related to safety of yourself and others.

The Beginning of the Counseling Session

Your counselor will ask you questions about things sticking out from your intake. Your counselor will get more information about how you grew up, your family and who is part of your family now. We want to know things that give you joy and things that really bother you. Most important, we want to know what brings you into counseling to begin with. Your counselor will talk with you and process different things to get a better understanding of your situation.

The End of the Counseling Session

By the end of session, you and your counselor will be working to identify goals based on the reason you’re getting counseling. For example, the reason you are seeking counseling might be because of marriage problems and stress. The goal is geared towards what you hope to gain from your experience in counseling. An example of a goal for marriage problems might be to better control your emotions and temper with your spouse and work on stress relieving skills.

Counseling is Your Choice

Going to counseling is a voluntary decision meaning no one can force you to come. Your counselor will make recommendations about how often you should be seen or when to come back. But ultimately it is your choice to continue counseling or not. While others around may want you to come to counseling, it is your decision. If you’re under the age of 18, you and your guardian are in control of this choice.

Remember your counselor is a person, just like you. Your counselor does not have all of the answers, a magic wand, or a special pill to make all your problems go away. The goal is to change you: how you think, how you act, and how take control of your emotions. The focus will not be on changing your situation as much as it will be on changing you.

How to Help a Loved One who has Anxiety

Jun 18, 2022

Coping with anxiety is difficult for the person going through it. Also true for the people around them. Family members and close friends impacted by having a loved one struggle with anxiety is difficult too. This blog focuses 3 easy ways a loved one can support their family member without enabling.

Listen To Your Loved One.

No matter how many times you’ve heard it, no matter how often this has happened, listen. The person struggling with anxiety does not want to have this condition. They do not wake this morning wanting to feel anxiety. Listen with your ears, but really listen with your heart. Offer non-verbal encouragement, nod your head, look at them, and sit with them on their level.

Limit the Anxious Talk.

Being supportive of your loved one struggling with anxiety doesn’t mean that you are constantly available. While it is important to show consistent support by being physically and emotionally present, you don’t have to stop your own life. Give yourself a magic number. Think of a certain amount of time you are willing [and able] to give to listen and be with your loved one. This number can vary from day to day. For example, this morning you may have 15 minutes, but tomorrow you may have 30 minutes. Let your loved one know you want to be there for them but set boundaries so you don’t make yourself available 24/7.

Ask How You Can Help.

When your loved one is calm, ask what you can do to help the next time they feel anxious. Ask what they need during these times. Ask questions to better understand how anxiety impacts them personally. If your loved one does not know the answer to these questions or are providing answers that seem codependent (ie:”as long as you never leave my side, I’m ok”), that’s a clear indicator they could benefit from getting some extra help.

Having a loved one with anxiety is not easy. It may seem that despite your best attempts, the anxiety does not seem to ease back. But remember, your loved one is different than the anxiety. When you feel angry or frustrated, just remember to target this towards the anxiety not your loved one. The two of you together can fight towards the same cause: managing the anxiety.

Self-Sabotage and Why We Do It

Apr 2, 2022

What is Self-Sabotage

Self sabotage is the result of self inflicted, subconscious or conscious actions or thoughts to derail one’s success. In short, self sabotage is screwing yourself over on purpose. Why would anyone do such a thing? Contrary to popular belief, you are usually the one who gets in the way of your own self.

A young person had an interesting conversation with me many years ago. We had worked for months on achieving a positive goal and were near final completion. Nearly a week before the goal was accomplished, she engaged in a behavior that completely derailed and destroyed her chances of leveling up. She knowingly engaged in a negative behavior which was so far off from the quality of character and actions she had built over the past year. I felt angry, disappointed and frustrated at her lack of follow through and unwillingness to commit.

Why Do We Self-Sabotage?

When the dust had settled, we had a sit down conversation. I could only bring myself to ask one question, “Why?” She proceeded to draw the following with a pen on white paper:

-side profile of stairs from the bottom of the page to the top, with stick figure person almost to the top; arrow pointed downward from the top of the stairs to the bottom of the page/the ”floor” level.

She explained:

“The higher up you go, the better things get. You are meeting goals and living a life you didn’t know you could ever have. But when you look down, you see how high you are. And you’re still going up. The higher up you go, the harder you can fall, and worse it will hurt. You start to feel like you’re going to fall.

You have 2 choices, you can either jump now, before you get higher and before it hurts worse when you land. Also, you know when you’re going to jump so you see it coming. OR you can keep going higher, the pressure builds, and when you fall, you never see it coming, so it hurts so much worse.”

Wow. I was stunned. The higher up you go, the harder you fall? Then it hit me, it made sense. Why does a recovered addict relapse after successfully completing a rehab program? Why does that woman jump out of a good relationship and claim “it wasn’t a good fit”? Why does he not apply for the higher job position even when his colleagues are begging him to? Why do people pull out of their chosen career path after they fail a board exam? Why don’t we open up our own businesses?

Fear is the Root of Self-Sabotage

Fear turned inward becomes our kryptonite. The negative thoughts about ways you can fail will slowly end the spark that was required to generate ideas, movement and growth. How you think, becomes how you feel, which then creates actions. You think of all the reasons you fail, you begin to feel discouraged, scared or worried, then behave in ways to support that line of thinking. A discouraged person doesn’t make it on time to the interview. A person says no to going out with friends on a Saturday night although they’re feeling lonely.

Yes, it’s scary to think of failure, but what if you succeed? Ok, let’s say you fall, but not off the stairs completely, just down a few steps? Imagine geting out of your own way and allowing yourself to experience, grow, and move forward.

What is Analysis Paralysis?

Nov 16, 2021

The Definition of Analysis Paralysis

Analysis paralysis. Just look at those two words alone- I bet you can figure out what it might be. I’ve seen this term appear more frequently throughout the years with a particular precedence among the young adult community. Analysis paralysis is defined as the metaphorical mental inability to make a decision due to the overwhelming possibility of options, resulting in no decision being made at all.

Those plagued with analysis paralysis will often grow overwhelmed at the amount of options before them and overanalyze, re-analyze, and analyze again to the point of unintentionally procrastinating in making a decision. You may have heard someone state they “second guess” themselves when it comes to large decisions or making a choice. Analysis is the same concept, but on steroids. You don’t just second-guess yourself, but third guess and fourth guess and fifth guess yourself to the point no decision is made at all.

Doubt and Fear are the Root of Analysis Paralysis

With over analysis, there is consistent doubt and fear of making the wrong decision. As a result, people grow immobilized mentally for fear of what negative consequences their decision can create. One of the biggest fears is simply “Making the wrong choice.” You may have seen the chronic “procrastinator” but much like the second-guesser, analysis paralysis is a procrastinator 6.0 version. A procrastinator will eventually make a decision and complete a task, albeit at the very last minute. With analysis paralysis there is forever postponing, in essence placing the need to make a decision at the back of the mind rather than the forefront for an infinite amount of time.

The danger with analysis paralysis is it may appear to work. You know, “Out of sight, out of mind.” You may know someone who has struggled in making a decision they desperately need to make and watch from a distance how detrimental this is for them. Things like deciding what college to attend, deciding when the right time to leave an abusive spouse is, contemplating when they should tell their loved one about a grave physical health condition, saying yes or no to certain job opportunities….The list goes on and on. You may have witnessed how your loved one has missed out on an opportunity or unintentionally remained in unfulfilled roles by not making a decision to do something different.

Counseling for Analysis Paralysis

Many may try and justify this way of thinking, saying things like “I just take my time” or “I’ve always been this way.” However, there can be freedom from this type of overwhelming, paralyzing fear of making the wrong choice. If you or someone you know is struggling with this, don’t hesitate to reach out. Don’t overanalyze whether counseling could be a good option for you. Swing into action, advocate for your own self, and say yes to an opportunity for help.

What is Quality of Life?

Nov 1, 2021

WRITTEN BY: MARQUIA CALDWELL, LPC

Quality of life is the degree to which you are healthy, comfortable, and able to participate in or enjoy life. It’s often reflected in your physical, mental, emotional, and psychological wellbeing. The definition of quality of life varies from person to person, but most agree that happiness and satisfaction in life is the goal.

When we begin to suffer in certain areas of life, this is called poor quality of life. Poor quality of life is seen as a decreased living standard where there is an absence of basic needs as well as social, cultural, emotional, and spiritual needs. When we experience this, we can grow truly unhappy and finding enjoyment in life is difficult.

Signs of poor quality of life:

Negative Thoughts and Words
Sedentary Lifestyle
Lack of hobbies and time for self
Excessive work or studies
Lack of focus and goals
Poor Diet
Poor Sleeping Habits
Negative Relationships
Toxic Environments

Happiness is often associated with having a good quality of life. Happiness can be understood as the fulfillment of goals, needs, and wishes in an area that has value to a person. Happiness leads to increased success, better health, and rewarding relationships. Quality of life can be improved once we recognize we are struggling and unhappy.

Ways to Improve Quality of Life

Maintain Healthy Relationships – Relationships play an important role in our lives. Healthy relationships increase your happiness, life satisfaction, and psychological well-being.
Get a Good Night’s Sleep – Sleep is vital. During undisturbed deep sleep that cells in our bodies regenerate. It can improve productivity, emotional balance, creativity, and even your weight.
Regular Exercise – Exercise pumps up our endorphins – our “feel good” hormones – which has an immediate uplifting effect and helps us to concentrate, stay alert, focused, and enhances our cognitive abilities.
Healthy Diet – Our bodies get the most out of nutrient-rich, natural food, which in turn keeps us feeling more energized, stronger, and less prone to fatigue and illness. We also feel better mentally when we feel nourished.
Stay Hydrated – It’s important to stay hydrated. Our bodies are at least 70% water and when that level drops, our bodily systems do not function at their best.
Self-Care – Make time to take breaks and to treat yourself. Create “ME TIME”. Some examples are meditation, decluttering, reading, positive affirmations, new hobbies/interests, unplugging from social media, taking vacations, and more.
Goal Setting – By making short, medium, and long-term goals for ourselves – whether they are related to career, knowledge, or personal growth – we are creating opportunities to guide us in our development. Reaching them provides a sense of fulfillment and momentum and keeps us looking forward.

The steps on this path will sometimes seem treacherous, but the result is worth the effort. It begins with conversations, being aware of your life satisfaction and treasuring it and discovering what’s missing from your life.

“Movement is life. Life is a process. Improve the quality of the process and you improve the quality of life itself.” – Moshe Feldenkrais

Mommy Guilt- and Why it feels so Heavy.

Oct 17, 2021

If you’re a working mother who struggles with “mommy guilt” this blog is for you. This blog will review the difference between mommy guilt and mommy shame and why it feels so heavy to experience it.

For those of you who have heard of the renowned Brene Brown, much of what I’m going to talk about regarding shame versus guilt comes from her. She’s a research professor who studies people and their connection to vulnerability, shame and empathy.

What Is Mommy Guilt?

In short, guilt suggest “I’ve done something bad” while shame suggest “I am bad.” Guilt speaks to the action, while shame speaks to the person. Some might argue this is simply a matter of semantics, but if you look closer, you can see it.

Let’s take a look at internal mommy talk. When uncovering tough thoughts and feelings, internal self-talk could sound a little like this: “I forgot to pack my kids lunch and I need to call the school ASAP” (guilt) versus “I’m such a bad mom my kid doesn’t deserve me” (shame).

Before going on, you must first understand the strong connection between thoughts and feelings. For example, if you think “My child doesn’t deserve me, I’m an absent parent and sucky person” then you are likely to feel anxiety, worry, and shame. On the other hand, if you think “I was really busy all week at work so I need to carve out some quality time with my daughter this weekend” then you are more likely to feel motivated, focused, and organized. Can you see the difference? Each thought takes feelings into two completely different directions.

How to Overcome Mommy Guilt

So what can you do with mommy guilt? First you have to identify your internal self talk. Is it more on the shame side or the guilt side? Put it on paper: what do the thoughts sound like in your head? No one can help you with this because you are the only one who hears your own thoughts. What are you feeling guilty about? Worried about? When you think about work and your role as a mom, what does it feel like? Is there a balance?

Once you start this list, you will quickly see a pattern or trend. You are likely feeling some kind of way about things like time or not doing special things with your kid. For you, the time you spend at work equals time away from your child. So let’s talk about the idea of time.

As adults, we understand the passing of time. Depending on the age of your child, many have little to no concept of time. For example, not until mid elementary age do children start understanding how to tell time. Into double digit years, they start understanding their favorite show is about 30 minutes long. They start understanding why she can’t go to bed 10 minutes later because her bedtime is 8 PM. Before this, he thinks you are 75 years old and his birthday just past last week. Because of this, you are at a slight advantage. Children (and humans in general) are more concerned with the quality of time spent in a relationship rather than the quantity of time spent in that relationship.

What to do About Mommy Guilt

Quality time is a quality exchange, mutual interaction, an interaction involving peace and overall enjoyment of one another’s presence. Your child will always prefer to have 100% of you rather than the distracted you. For example, driving in the car while having a conversation with your passenger does not count as quality time. Why? You’re clearly distracted by the road and your role by default is split between driver and communicator. Your child needs 100%, interactive, non-distracted time with you. Even 15 minutes a day, can speak volumes especially as children grow and develop.

What do do About Mommy Shame

If you’ve been struggling with mommy shame, you are not alone. You can’t be expected to tackle these feelings and experiences on your own when you have never done so before. Find a support group, talk to other working parents, attends a seminar, or find someone to talk to openly about your feelings. We can help.

5 Easy Ways to Manage Anxiety

Aug 27, 2021

WRITTEN BY: KIMBERLY ALANIZ, LCSW-S

Do you feel like getting your anxiety under control seems too hard? Below are 5 easy things you can do today to get you anxiety under control– and each just take few minutes.

1.Step away from the caffeine

Although coffee affects each person differently, it may not be the best choice if you struggle with anxiety. Coffee is a powerful stimulant that mimics natural functions in you body that happen when we are anxious and your body /mind may not be able to tell the difference. You may feel your heart rate increase, take shorter breaths or even a rise in temperature. Mentally, you may even feel restless, stressed or nervous. Swapping your morning coffee for warm tea or hot cocoa may help reduce anxiety without abandoning the warm, calming routine.

2. Spend some time in nature

Evaluate what your average day looks like. Where and how do you normally spend your time? If the answer is indoors and in front of a screen it may be time to get outside. Spending time in nature could improve both your physical and emotional healthy. Physically, time outdoors lowers blood pressure, releases muscle tension and decreases the creation of stress hormones. Activities like enjoying the evening on your front porch or hiking a trail could help calm the body and mind. In fact, research shows even viewing scenic images of nature can have similar effects.

3. Focus on your breathing

Deep breathing exercises can help create links between both sympathetic (kick starts fight or flight) and parasympathetic (influences relaxation) nervous systems. When you take a long, deep breath in, your sympathetic nervous system increases things like your heart rate and blood pressure. As you elongate the exhale, your body begins slow the heart and loosen tense muscles.

Try this breathing exercise and enjoy the benefits!

*Box breathing- Sit in a comfortable, quite spot with your feet firmly planted on the ground. Draw your attention to your breath. Drag the tip of your finger along your leg to “draw” each side of a box using the following breaths as a guide. Exhale, inhale (count to 4 in your mind), hold your breath for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts. Repeat at least 4 times.

4.Grounding

Grounding is a practice that allows a person to refocus and redirect nervous thoughts, flashbacks or uncomfortable emotions to the present time and behaviors. Here are two grounding activities to try.

*Place your hand underneath a running tap of warm water. Focus on the temperature and pressure of the water as it hits parts of your hand. Listen closely to the sounds of the running water. How do the sensations differ from your fingertips, palm and the back of your hand? Now try this with cold water and then alternate between the two.

*5-4-3-2-1

Counting backwards from five, focusing on your five senses, interact physically or list things around you.

5 things you can see

4 things you can touch

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste

5. Exercise

Even though we may not always enjoy exercise, we almost never regret how we feel after. This is more than likely because of the endorphins released in our body after activity. No need to run to the gym. Things like a brisk walk with your pet, dancing in your kitchen as you cook dinner or riding your bike are all great alternatives to a gym membership.

If you begin to feel discouraged because it seems like everything you try doesn’t work, you’re not alone. Don’t feel as though you have to work through this silently. We are here to help you get your anxiety under control- reach out to us to schedule an appointment within a week.

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