WRITTEN BY SARAH RIVERA, LPC-S: DBT for Teens: How Parents Can Support Emotional Growth is all about giving both you and your teen tools to handle life’s challenges. Teens face a lot — GPA pressures, friend drama, relationship problems, making the team, homework, frustration with teachers, sibling fights, and even overbearing parents. It’s easy for parents to forget just how stressful their teen’s world can be. In this post, we’ll explore how Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) can help teens manage big emotions, accept what they can’t control, and build healthier relationships.

What Is DBT?

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is a type of therapy that teaches people how to accept things they can’t control, build healthy relationships, and manage strong emotions. The word dialectical means two things can be true at the same time. For example, you can accept something without liking it, feel relief and sadness at the same time, or be frustrated and still make a good choice.

The Four Pillars of DBT

DBT is built on four main skill areas:

1. 1. Mindfulness – Staying in the moment without judgment.
   2. Distress Tolerance – Getting through tough situations without making things worse.
   3. Emotion Regulation – Understanding and managing strong feelings.
   4. Interpersonal Effectiveness – Communicating and setting healthy boundaries.

What Is Emotion Regulation?

Emotion regulation means noticing what you feel, figuring out where that feeling is coming from, and choosing what to do next instead of letting the emotion take over. Before your teen can manage emotions, they first have to notice them. Once they do, they can slow down, think about what’s really going on, and make a choice that lines up with their values — not just their feelings. It’s not about ignoring emotions or pretending they aren’t there; it’s about taking the driver’s seat instead of letting those emotions steer the car. Like any skill, it takes practice, and the more your teen works at it, the easier it becomes to handle stress in healthy ways.

How Parents Can Help

Helping your teen cope with emotions starts with you.

• • Model the skills – Show them how you calm down under stress.
  • Validate before fixing – Say, “I can see you’re stressed,” before jumping into solutions.
  • Name the feeling – Help them figure out what they might be feeling.
  • Create a calm environment – Your stress level affects theirs.

Kids often mirror what they see. If you approach problems calmly, they are more likely to do the same.

DBT Skills That Help With Stress

Learning emotion regulation takes more than just “calming down.” DBT gives teens practical tools they can use in the moment, especially when feelings are running high. These skills aren’t about ignoring emotions — they’re about finding ways to respond that keep the situation from getting worse and help your teen feel more in control.

Here are a few key DBT skills for emotion regulation:

1. Feelings Are Not Facts

Feelings can be intense, but that doesn’t make them true. Help your teen check the facts and see if their emotions match the situation.
Example: If they didn’t get invited to a party, it doesn’t mean no one likes them — it may just mean space was limited.

2. Opposite Action

When emotions push them toward something unhelpful (like isolating when they feel hurt), they can choose the opposite action (like reaching out to a friend). This helps shift their mood and keep relationships strong.

Why a Therapist Can Help

As teens grow, they naturally seek more independence and start making more of their own choices. That’s a normal and healthy part of development — but it can also mean they don’t always want to take advice from parents. Sometimes the same message you’ve been saying for years will click instantly when it comes from a coach, teacher, or therapist. This isn’t because you’re doing anything wrong; it’s simply that teens often respond differently when they hear something from another trusted adult.

A DBT-trained therapist can:

• • Teach and practice these skills in real time
  • Reinforce what you’ve already modeled at home
  • Help your teen handle emotions in healthier ways
  • Loop you in so you can stay on top of what’s going on with your child too.

If your teen is struggling with stress, we can help. Contact La Luz Counseling to learn how DBT and other therapy approaches can support your teen and your family.